Why We Love Kids


NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up
and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the
shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom!
That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"


HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell
me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it
out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking
for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my
toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little
smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell
in the toilet a few days ago.


KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the
jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her
4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister,
Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy
can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle."


MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the
women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into
shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The
little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the
matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"


POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary
school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old.
Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"
"Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother
said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that
right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said
as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my
shoe?"


POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner,
Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is
that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I
replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the
back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"


ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my
afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various
appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false
teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The
tooth fairy will never believe this!"


DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When
she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you
shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know
that it always gives you a headache the next morning."


SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm
just wasting my time," she said to her other. "I can't read,
I can't write and they won't let me talk!"


BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as
he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell
out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.
What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between
the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What
have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's
voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"