amusing.

jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
oh and i know that claire danes will jerk his rugger crush off
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
and be struck down for it
because it's wrong. says:
what?
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
in QAF
because it's wrong. says:
i have no idea what you're talking about?
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
oh
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
erm
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
claire danes!
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
the claire danes one
because it's wrong. says:
claire danes?
because it's wrong. says:
the mother?
because it's wrong. says:
lindsey?
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
no who's lindsey
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
claire danes
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
the blonde one
because it's wrong. says:
the woman?
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
who looks like claire danes
because it's wrong. says:
lindsey is the mother of brian's son
because it's wrong. says:
is that the one?
because it's wrong. says:
or are you talking about justin's friend
because it's wrong. says:
-or
because it's wrong. says:
are you talking about justin
because it's wrong. says:
hahaha
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
oh no
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
i'm talking about justin
because it's wrong. says:
justin will jerk the rugger off, yes
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
yes
because it's wrong. says:
justin looks like claire danes???
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
claire danes jerks him off [how sweet]
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
yes
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
terriblu
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
y
jireh [ reverse bungee ] says:
i hate him

"Pornography is the popculture icon of this generation."

- Dawn Lim

(by the way, Dawn, i know you read my blog. please leave a tag, you blogstalker you.)

weirdness:

Your Love Situation by Amberishjewel
Username?
Your Love Is...	Soft
During Lovemaking You Act...	Like a cat, longing to be pet
Your Partner Is...	Your everything
Your Partner Has Said That You...	Are extrodinary
Your Love is Summed Up In A Quote.	"I love your lips"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

ok flower-rugger (that's got a nice ring to it, yeah?) codenames we have so far:
rosebud
sunflower
pansy
tulip
morning glory
daisy
lily

i have a new suggestion to name somebody particularly horrible: petunia. and name his girlfriend vernon. but i haven't decided whom to confer this honour upon, yet. more close scrutiny of ruggers upcoming. not as pleasing as a job as it may seem, because i honestly don't find any ruggers hot. even if rosebud is nice to look at.

i am going to think of more flower names for ruggers. sunflower is quite ironically appropraite, somehow. i just realised that this is like the exercise purvis gave us! oh, that i am inadvertently doing literature for pleasure and yet got a 2 for it. the irony. what's that thing purvis says? "irony irony all is irony?" something like that.

anyhow, i will consult with my codename comrades tomorrow and name the rugby team fully. codename comrades! cute, yes? suggestions: hibiscus, pansy, daisy, buttercup, lily, bluebell, tulip, carnation.

i do believe that the night drives me mad. i shall retire now.

haha i was just typing photocopied, or trying to type it, and accidentally typed photospied! how amusing.

i'm really sleepy. long conversation just now about how to procure qaf. hope things work, hope my mother doesn't figure out that queer means gay. hope she can find the dvds. hope she's actually going.

and now i must go and set up class blog so i don't forget. letsgetdownand13.

saif ali khan! is hot! and he plays the guitar so fucking well. he played for the zee cine awards, a whole long solo and he definitely wasn't pretend-playing. and he was really really good! and then he danced! and got drooled on by lots of pretty dancers. -squeeeees-

heh this reminds me of the ugly rugger whom vaish and i have nicknamed saif, because despite his ugliness he somehow resembles saif ali khan. i think it's the jaw, or the nose, or something. but he's very ugly despite the resemblance. and i just realised who sunflower is this afternoon! and all this while i referred to him as the cute rugger. am disgusted that it is him. i never put the name and the face together until today. how utterly clueless of me. anyhow, he's only cute in a relative sense because the rugby team is so sorely lacking. rosebud is the only cutie.

anybody who wants to know who sunflower is, ask me privately. i think my blog might be getting a little too public to mention names, and i'm amusing myself by giving sweet, feminine, flower names to all the macho rugger men. saif shall stay saif though, because it's just as amusing that he can be so ugly and get remind me of such a hot man.

choon sees my nick, "leave it to a queen to turn everything into a drama", and i realise that i meant to change it because it's a rather horrible nickname to have now that everybody's attached a name to it, that i honestly did not mean for it to have, and anyway.

choon suggests a new nickname: "leave it to a knave to help you shave"

and then the conversation continues, leaving derrick sort of out. and kelly suggests getting him back in.
and choon says: "hello derrick. are you there, rick?"

quotable quotes. there are more written down dutifully by kel somewhere, which i'll post soon. choon amuses me no end.

my god i am fucking nervous.

HELLO concerned individuals who know who they are. I think we should revive harbinger parrot! I think the name was a bad omen, because she DIED. Harbinger, indeed.

i forgot john mayer! in the music list. your body is a wonderland, a high/falling song. and very sweet line: "if you want love, we'll make it". [running around the rgs field trying not to sprain an ankle, and singing with daph and charmaine.] oh nostalgia. and why georgia. i have a memory of running down the stairs near the tamil room, singing it terribly off-key. also with daph. :(

i should go see chandra sometime. heh shirin says he probably misses me. i say sshhhh.

the only non-depressing neutral milk hotel song:

Love You More Than Life

Let the world collapse and die
It's sinking deeper in your eyes
And I will sing a surprise
For no one.

Let the world collapse and swallow
All the loves you'll hold tomorrow
And will shield and I will follow
No one.

And I'm all screwed up
But I feel all right
Sinking deeper all the time
Inside a hole deep in my mind
But I love you, I love you…
More than life.

Let the world collapse and fall
It gave me no, nothing at all.
And I will shield and I will fault
No one.

Let it sink and let it shudder
All the words that I will utter
In hopes your love will soon discover
No one.

And I'm all screwed up
But I feel all right
Sinking deeper all the time
Inside a hole deep in my mind
But I love you, I love you…
More than life.

there're some songs that just make me want to fall into them, like poses and want and well, a lot of stuff on poses by rufus, and there are some that make me want to burst - like natasha and greek song by rufus, and some of sarah mclachlan and strawberry fields and wild horses. and songs that make you extremely high, like i am a walrus (coocoocoochoo!) or "on a high"by duncan sheik or any of the indianish songs by cornershop. their rendition of norwegian wood is incredibly cute.

and there are some lyrics that just make you go awwww and want to bearhug the singer. like in want, "i'll settle for love". it's so heartbreaking. and in yellow, "for you i'd bleed myself dry", and bif naked's lucky: "i'd give my life for yours", and neutral milk hotel's i love you more than life, well, the whole thing. they're not trite at all. they're just sweet and beautifully wistful.

and! i have to acknowledge my tv shows!
god put a smile upon your face by coldplay, for earsplitting grins. kitchen!sex. ilovelovelove.
my sundown, for well. it's a sad song, but it's a morning after song. i just like it very very much.
oh my love by john lennon. beautiful. it's another one of those falling songs.
my little corner of the world, yo la tengo, for happiness.
where you lead, by carole king, because it reminds me of the first season, which i miss dearly.
wild horses, which i already mentioned, but buffy's prom...
full of grace, for angel and buffy.

there are millions more, in fact, since so much of my favourite music is based on my favourite tv shows. the list goes on forever. but those are a notable few.

i need to go and listen to poses. it's atrocious that i haven't listened to it in a month or something. i think i'll lie in bed and put my headphones and just lose myself. best way to listen to rufus.

i didn't want to post for a while, because i want the poll to be right on top, but anyhow. haha. sex appeal. couldn't resist. my blog is, after all, for posterity to know and be entertained by the amusing antics of aparna (alliteration! and again!) =] a long afternoon sleep does wonders for one's state of mind.

this is kelly's song, invented by choon, to the tune of dancing queen. the 'dancing' for the first three lines is basically staring at a person passionately and slowly, tenderly bobbing head back and forth:
you are my sex appeal
you make me feel
like i'm dressed to kill
woah-ohh (insert saturday night fever movement)

hard drives! and supposedly the whole world knows that jireh was walking around looking for me and my hard drive. i kept getting told by random people, that he was looking for me and *insert confused look* my hard drive. kitson's still confused. but he's like a girl. a bimbo in fact. confused and curious. we'll keep him that way.

DISCLAIMER: It was not my idea to do this poll, neither did I create it. It was someone else's invention, whose name will be protected for security purposes. Jireh, if you're reading this, I'm terribly sorry. But my blog's been turned, against my will, into the headquarters of your fanclub for reasons that I cannot fathom. Just hope that it blows over soon.

Web Poll

does jireh have sex appeal? yes no to guys only to girls only who's jireh? Perseus ExpressPoll

norah jones just released a new album two weeks ago. i want!

to clarify, due to the flood of questions about humanz being gone soon, it's what nick perry told chit which she told me. i suppose there's some element of truth, because of the integrated program and all that shit. it definitely won't be the same thing, will it.

am listening to the alias soundtrack. it's actually very good. nice and listen-able. and my dad's going to cupertino tomorrow. this was supposed to be my opportunity to get buffy dvds, because when he went last month it was only three days and he didn't have time and this time it's a week, but he says he's got no time again. =[ damnit. i hope my mother goes to new york in april.

after us, pretty much, the gep is gone and humanz program is gone. only time will tell what the humanz program will do for me, but gep was the best thing that happened to me. it gave me so much.

dinosaurs watching the apocalyse happen.

vaish's hybrid ex(?)-eye candy is the biggest fucking asshole in the world, if his blog is any measure of his personality. the kinda guy who is seriously in need of being told to fuck the hell off. his blog pisses me off so much. and the beng-ness of it. all the chinese words and weird slang. eurgh. i would link it, or copy the entries if my blog weren't rapidly turning rather public.

strange. for some reason the last post isn't publishing. hopefully this will make it post.

i love qaf. i love i love i love. i love brian. i love justin.

haha today has been the strangest day ever.

I haven't watched QAF in so long, for various reasons. But last night Minty and I stayed up watching lots of Brian/Justin scenes and I am completely converted to Brian/Justin shipdom. Absolutely, completely. I even think Justin's cute, which was unthinkable until recently because I really did not like him. But they're adorable together. And Brian really is the hottest fucking thing on the planet. Everything about him is melting-legs sexy. I have a renewed promise to myself. Once I acquire all of season 1 and 2, I will watch in order and finish watching everything I have.

I have so much of S1 missing - 9, 14, 15, 16, 18. And I have all of season 2 missing but eps 1, 2, 3 and 15. Somebody supply me the rest?! I have all of season 3, however. Which is good because that's got some fucking beautiful scenes. The end of 308! Andi! Ah! Fabulous direction.

Minty and I were discussing queens this morning. Queens whom we know. And whether straight men can be queens, and whether gay men are necessarily queens (obviously not. Brian is so damn straight in every way except the most important one). Haha.

And yeah, I did finally get Minty to go with me yesterday, to see Something's Gotta Give which was amusing but did not live up to its hype. And then Hwa Chong dramafest, which was boring as hell but for the arts fac play, as expected. But most people who were involved in/saw our RJ arts fac play, agreed that it was better than theirs. And yet we lost and they won. Shite.

It was rather sweet that Hadri, Michael, Matin etc all went down to see Bernie. He deserved his best actor award.. totally hilarious Austin Powers he was. But Xuan should've been best actress.. I didn't even notice the other actress who won. But then I barely watched anything but the arts fac play.

how annoying. my parents are out of town and i wanna go out but nobody wants to go with me. and i'm sitting here waiting for someone to call me back and tell me that they can go. i feel a bit like.. miss havisham or something. like i'll grow old in my chair, waiting for somebody to lose their parental restrictions.

my blog has completely shitty html. i feel like i should do something about it. like, for instance, change the title of the blog to something more interesting. but i really can't be bothered. so i'll leave it mooshed and red and ugly and weird.

i realised what i forgot to do in the other post-dramafeste post. thankyous. although nobody in the cast is probably ever going to read this, besides claud and vaish.

jireh, because you're funny and smart and sweet and the best director i could ever have hoped for, and you deserved to have been given Best Director.

chit, minty, andi, shirin, bernice, vivien, grace, shoojee, yiting, derrick, tsz san and everybody else who came to watch me.

arts fac (amogh/whoever), 13a, chit, minty, vivien, andi for the flowers.

vaish and claud, ie mega and bob. the best triumvirate/sisters ever. we really were brilliant. and i know i'll never stop being condo; i hope we always remain fowl soul sistas.

jen, for being beautiful. and looking better in my shoes than i ever did and complaining far less than i did, despite wearing them for far longer than i did. and always going to the toilets with me to change, and for being a wonderful person.

michael, for being a brilliant minion despite having to give up eggbert.

all of the cast. i'll never forget a single one - jenny-fer, eggbert, porn king, michael, eugene the worm/cutie, religious chicken, atheist chicken, kampung chicken, lap chicken, giftedchicken, and my dear practical chicken. or rather, lesbian chickens. i love all of you, and i have the craziest, most wonderful memories.

the crew. mel, wonderful sets. joshua, perfect lighting. benuel, great cues for the sound despite being in your little soundproof room. janahan for relaying the cues to beuel. katsy batsy for holding the curtain. and others that i've forgotten or never noticed.

everyone who carried my hideous/gorgeous makeup box around for me.

to me, jennifer will always be jenny-fer, and joshua always eggbert. (imagine both said in that crazy, high-pitched, weirdly accented condoleeza voice)

ah well. we're runners-up. because of the CAP thing. i think jireh felt bad that because he took that idea, we essentially lost. but we were definitely the crowd favourite, and i think that's the important thing. although i definitely am disappointed that we didn't win. but the audience was disappointed as well, so it's still good. and jireh deserved best director more than anybody else in the world. i didn't think the med fac directing was spectacular at all. and i guess i can't tell if the arts directing was fantastic from an audience point of view besides the chicken scene which was brilliant, but from an actor's point of view i have to say that jireh is a genius.

and i was thoroughly humiliated by being sent down for that whose line stuff at the end. jumping through the hoops, damn stupid. oh well.

heh.. nominated for best actress. it was so strange, vaish and claud were nominated, then there were two others, and then me at the end. i was like half-feeling bad that i was the only one out of the triumvirate who wasn't nominated, and then i was! yay! the triumvirate rocks. i'll never stop calling josh eggbert, or stop being condo, like vaish will never stop being mega. i'm totally shittily broken hearted that it's all over. and i'm really scared that the cast will stop saying hi in the corridors, or stop talking or something. because i absolutely loved the experience of making this play, and somehow am confident that even if maybe we weren't the best play, we definitely got the best experience out of it, because the people were just brilliant. i guess i'm also likely to be wrong, since experience is such an individual thing. but i think somehow our cast get along really well with each other. and we truly love what we did.

andandand i have more to say, but i can't get it all out. i hope that we can do the play again for camp make a difference. i want it back. and i hope we have a cast party soon.

ok i need a shower badly. maybe i'll blog more about the play tomorrow.

and OH MY GOD. i just realised that alias, in the sex club scene in second double, used the same "i.. i wanna mm mm i" music as the qaf scene in 102 where brian does whatever he does, with the client in the men's room. where the client goes "it's been a pleasure" and brian says it can be even more of one, and the client is all huh? what the whuh? and brian stares at him and pulls him into the cubicle. and gives him the fuck of his life or whatever. huh.

am watching a bit of qaf again, after a long time. and i lovelovelove brian! in 104, that bit where he says "we know better than to believe pretty little blonde boys who tell us that it's really good shit", he tilts his head and goes singsong for 'really good shit', it's damn sexyy. heh just had to gush to somebody. and everyone's at school..

am ponning tomorrow, yay! today was just brilliant. am still on a high from all the praise and flowers and compliments and the happiness and all. but tomorrow should be even better, because we can be even more brilliant and just blow them away. i am rather reassured about med fac, because despite good acting from a couple of the actors, their play came across very anticlimactic. like it was so deep and shit, but the ending was completely silly. and half the play was angsty and the other half stupidly funny. i think if you want a deep play take a couple of hours. it doesn't work in half an hour, especially with interspersed humour. there was ultimately no message. everybody was saying that they didn't know what the hell the play was about.

whereas arts attempts no message at all. and at the same time can be interpreted in various deep and meaningful ways. and by all accounts we were absolutely fantastic and very professional. and i trust that opinion because jireh is a real genius. and there are new additions to the jireh fanclub.

but hubris will take me nowhere. will pray for the best. for now, shall go clean contacts and go to sleep. my contacts were being fucking annoying today. they were so shittily haloed. it was disgusting. and they hurt so much.. i think i'm wearing them too long. thank god, tomorrow am skipping school. useless day anyway :)

there are things i want to say but can't. i don't believe in going public with my pain, but excuse me now, because it makes it all a little bit better, especially if it's exactly the kind of cryptic that makes it seem like all i want is for somebody to notice and care and make me feel better. because, yeah, that's what i want. and i'm not even good at doing this angst thing. it's so unfamiliar. and so what if i'm angry? it's my fucking blog, i have the right to say anything i like here, and i needn't feel bad about being angsty because i'm never angsty. i actually for once empathise with people who go all cryptic-angst on their blogs. there is some purpose. although i can't understand cryptic angst being the sole content of one's life, because one evening is more than enough for me. pitiful, really.

but it's only myself that i'm telling to fuck off. really. the world's been perfectly nice to me, and there is no sarcasm in that statement (and that wasn't sarcastic either, i swear, why don't you believe me?) it's just all peaches and cream. but i feel like shit. i don't want this week to be over. i don't want to have time to think.

nobody's ever as happy as they seem. some people should understand that better than most, and yet.

i am gorging on the remnants of my valentines' hersheys box. will take the packet to lecture tomorrow. rollason is easy - just give him chocolates as well. and math lecture, nuff said. double english tutorial, then unfortunately math tutorial. and then dramafest!

it's strange, when you're being incredibly pissed off with someone, and then you realise that they're also hurting, badly. and then trying to come to terms with your own pain and theirs at the same time. even if you're not even a part of it. and you just want it all to go away.

i know that the above is precisely the cryptic angst that i regularly condemn with disdain, but it was just.. an observation. sort of.

dramafest! yay. i don't want it to be over.

OH MY GOD IS THIS HOT OR WHAT.



I WANT I NEED. Desperately. Birthday's in less than two months, perhaps I can convince dad to order for me. Especially since my other expected order doesn't seem to have been made. And that isn't exactly a bitter statement, it's in fact good cos I no longer want the Alias poster, and this Johnny Depp is MUCH better than the piano one. I don't normally like cigarettes, but this particular one is a huge turn-on. Only my parents will probably never let me order it, let alone put it on my wall. Damn.

Why can't the damn picture be bigger? It's such a huge poster, 36 by 24 inches, can't the preview picture be proportionately large??? Am raving to Shirin, and she says "okkkk insane fan alert". Haha.

Check out this site. Absolutely hilarious.

i shall post a conversation i just had with chit, because she was incredibly incoherent, and it's rather funny and i haven't got anything more amusing to post right now, for the entertainment of my audience. "Give me my sin again" is me, and "living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see." is chit.

give me my sin again. says:
heyy
give me my sin again. says:
am back
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
and i have to go out again!!!
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
cousins house
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
sigh.
give me my sin again. says:
whYY??
give me my sin again. says:
i wanna talk!
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
dinner
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
i know, me too!
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
i'll see you when i get home
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
i'll be back by eight
give me my sin again. says:
oh btw did you see my blog?
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
mm which entry?
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
the loud music.
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
i think i'm going with the bif naked/cure kind of mood right now
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
yeah okay i'll see you tomorrow
give me my sin again. says:
the ricky gervais pics
give me my sin again. says:
you'll see me tomorrow?
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
ohh those
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
um.
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
i'll talk to you tonight.
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
yeah he looks like ricky gervais.
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
like david brent..
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
ahh
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
byebye
give me my sin again. says:
huh
give me my sin again. says:
you're saying weird things
give me my sin again. says:
it IS ricky gervais.
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
yeah it is ricky gervais
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
looking like he always does
give me my sin again. says:
so obviously it looks like him
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
which is like david brent.
give me my sin again. says:
man.
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
cos david brent and ricky gervais are inseparable from each other
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
character wise
give me my sin again. says:
geez. you're talking absolute rubbish
give me my sin again. says:
go for dinner
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
yeah k
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
cya later
living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. says:
bye

"yeah it is ricky gervais looking like he always does which is like david brent cos david brent and ricky gervais are inseperable from each other"??? btw david brent is ricky gervais's character on the office. so logical conclusion, which doesn't need to be voiced, is that ricky gervais would look like david brent. yeah well. talk about stating the obvious. you'd think people wouldn't waste time on doing exactly that, especially when they're rushing off for dinner. but it makes for highly amusing reading, like khushnam did until i blocked her. eventually if i'm really bored i'll unblock her and read her rave about how i haven't been online in soooo long and what happened to me and am i alright and so on and so forth. i in fact get periodical urges to unblock her, just to see what she has to tell me. my blog isn't half as laugh-worthy without her. oh i suddenly feel a strange affection for her. how terribly wrong.

anyway, as usual econs and history call my name. i shall have to answer.

Been listening to loud music all morning. Loud not as in volume, but the noisy drums and stuff kind. And I suddenly noticed, because when I got sick of the noisy side of yo la tengo, or of the screaming side of xtc, and pushed stop, my ears were almost ringing. Or rather, the silence was really loud. Something like that. Even Sarah McLachlan wasn't soothing enough. So am listening to Norah Jones. Can't go wrong wtih Norah Jones. And of course I have to rush off for fine arts in half an hour, and am damn sleepy. And I have so much work to do.

Promo pics of Ricky Gervais on Alias!!!









and because i couldn't resist:



eric weiss looks so deliciously evil.

and does anybody know who this is? she looks terribly familiar.

Happy vday everyone! What a fucking busy day. Drama since the morning, then came home, changed and rushed off for the mtv asia awards. We actually had pretty sucky seats - I think only the standing people had good views. And we didn't get to go on the red carpet because actually that's only for the really really very important people. Damn. One day I shall be one of them. Only I won't be going to MTV because I'll be above all that. The music entirely sucks. The decent nominees - Eminem (though only for Lose Yourself because everything else is pretty bad), Robbie Williams, Michelle Branch, Dido - won nothing. I think they orchestrated everything such that the people who were actually attending the show won. Like Gareth Gates beat Justin Timberlake and Eminem? I don't like JT, mind, but he is hugely popular. Ah well. The rest was all non-English stuff. Everything was fun to mock. And Michelle Branch and Blue didn't even perform!!! Actually I'm not sure, they might have, but I don't think so. We left before the last segment of the show started. And they only said that Black Eyed Peas were going to perform then, so unless Blue and/or Michelle Branch did a surprise performance, they didn't perform. If the second half of that sentence made any sense, let me know. Anyway, overall shitty music.

Oh there was chicken stuff! I can no longer hear the word 'chicken' without grinning, because of our wonderful dramafest. Anyway, the chicken was one of the nominees for some best short film or something thingy. Anyway, there were quite a few animals among the nominees, but a human won. And then the host, Denise something, spoke to the chicken. The chicken squawked (and I must say that the chickens of CFC squawk much better) and Denise translated, that the chicken believed that there was a prejudice against animals and that they must fight for the rights of the chickens who're being killed or something. And then Denise asked the audience to say with her, "save those chickens! save those chickens!" Actually I can't remember if she asked the audience to say it with her, I might just be remembering Vaish's say it with me, but Denise did repeat "save the chickens!" And I felt like getting up and screaming "Kill those chickens!" in my sadistic little voice.

I gave a lot of kisses out today! Some were rejected, because people had colds/sore throats. Hershey's kisses, heh. Drama was fun. I am going to look a very floaty gypsy/billionaire businesswoman.

I am developing a gastric. I need to develop better eating habits. And sleeping habits. And life management habits, in general. And my eyes hurt. And my knee hurts, cos I banged it against my bed or my table or something last night. And I have a headache and I need sleep. I am falling to pieces.

religion is such a damn strange thing. my views aren't shaken at all, but i think i need more evidence. i need to consolidate my opinion, and read more religious stuff and gather information. because i feel very strongly about it but i need to be able to argue my point. hmm. i might have been hanging around consummate debaters a little too long.

had a packed day, saw a play that was absolute shit. barefoot in the park. completely amateur, the casting was terrible, and the acting even worse. neil simon dialogue is never bad, it's in fact brilliantly witty but this play made it absolute cheese. i was cringing at the end. and they had this incredibly clumsy closing of curtains and total darkness for more than a minute, for one of the scene changes after the interval. and the actors had no energy whatsoever, except for the girl. cory or whatever. and her mother. the same expression, kind of an embarrassed/confused frown, on her face throughout the play. and the victor guy could hardly speak english. and they all tripped over their lines a lot. ah well.

my weekend is already gone. tomorrow, drama in the morning. will probably end at around 4 hopefully, or rather i have to go home at 4 because i have to leave for the mtv asia awards at 5. red carpet and vip seats, yay. only i might see salina. eeew. econs nightmares.

i love philosophical discussion, but it's so damn tiring and often so thoroughly pointless. and my brain's too addled right now. and the questioning of moral boundaries is valid, but there are no clear-cute answers, which is expected, but also there are no answers that will make a difference. not to be jaded and cynical, but if we keep questioning what will we have left? the very basis of law and order might as well be nullified. i don't believe in the absolute correctless of the legal system or laws, but there have to be moral boundaries. i'll think of a more coherent argument when i'm less asleep. and my views might change overnight cos rereading what i've said, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. anyway. night.

by the way, if you're reading my blog and you're somebody that i know, then can you please leave me a tag? it's unnerving that people are reading my blog and not even telling me. and since my blog is for almost purely entertainment purposes, if i knew who was reading then perhaps i could tailor the posts better.

this does not mean in any way that anything i say is fabrication, unless of course i state that it is fabrication. my blog is merely the account of my fascinating life, and a record of the scintillating thoughts that run through my mind at breakneck speed. welcome to my world.

i need chocolate. and i keep amazing myself with my emotional bouncing. and i need to talk to chit. many things to tell her. but she's asleep with a headache. hope she's better by tomorrow - need company at play, or i'll be extra among all the hwachongers.

to remind myself:
rat, as always :)
religion
"i don't know if i've ever been good enough"

ok can't think of anything else though i'm sure there must have been. i need to do econs :(

today i got enlightened about the religious attitudes about several people in my class. it's amazing, how people can be so irrational about things. i don't know if it's bigoted in itself to despise such narrow-minded religiousness, but i can't understand it at all. the utter lack of intellectual questioning. but it'd make purvis very happy, that his lit lesson sparked off such debate.

i don't wish to convert anyone, because i don't see what i'd actually convert them to. i am a hindu, but i lean rather towards free-thinking, which i suppose is hindu in it's own way. and whether hindu or free-thinking, conversion doesn't exactly happen. i just want to open up people's minds. it's their sactimonious pity that agonises me. that they would consider us poor ignorant pagans. dear god.

i'm really loving that lit lessons are bringing up several issues that i myself feel so strongly about and have thought so much about and discussed so much. love and religion. what fascinating topics. especially the justification and the limits of both.

now i can spend the night discussing the meaning of life and i needn't sacrifice my grades for it. yay!

i am going to blog about something weird: the history of my sex education. if you are or consider yourself pure, please read no further.

was just remembering stuff, and decided that i should put it down somewhere so that i won't forget. what better place than this diary of cyber exhibitionism?

chit insists that the beginning of her sex education was in my bedroom at namly place. and yeah, that sounds really dirty but i quoted her because she said that and i found it hilarious that it sounded like we were really perverted little children. anyway apparently i told her that people have sex by rolling around and touching their tongues together. i have no idea where i got that from, and i have no recollection of telling that to her.

i first learnt how babies were made, when i was at the temple with a couple of friends who are a few years older than me, and they went to the american school. i must have been about.. eight? they were telling me about a classmate or schoolmate or someone who'd been expelled recently because she got pregnant. and i of course was all like, was she married? how'd she get pregnant? then began my enlightenment, they told me about penises and vaginas and sex and so on. and i remember thinking that vagina was such a strange word, that it sounded like virginia, and for a long time after, i used to giggle when someone said 'virginia'. heh and i loved that part in kingergarten cop where the kid gets up and says 'boys have penises and girls have vaginas'. how adorable.

chit says that her brother didn't know about sex till he was twelve or something.. which i just realised is barely two years ago. and he's in uwc, for god's sakes. huh. apparently he wasn't too clear about the details. incredible. but he was going to get a male hamster and a female hamster and chit told him that he'd better be prepared for a lot more hamsters to appear eventually, because the hamsters would reproduce being made as they are, for that very purpose. he was astounded and said, "but they're not married!" heh.

evidently i didn't believe that sex was the only way to make babies, because i remember that sometime at the end of primary 3, after exams when the class was watching 'the secret garden', gaya told me that sex was the only way to make babies. and i didn't believe her, but i guess i learnt eventually. gaya was a major factor in my sex education - she told me about sex, periods and breasts. and i remember when i was 7 or 8 i was so afraid of this secret knowledge that i had of these dirty things, and i kept wondering what my mother would do to me if she knew that i knew about sex, and whether i should tell her that i knew what breasts were. i remember that much later on, when my brother must have been about 7, we were in the metropolitan in new york, and were looking at some ancient jewellery exhibition. and there was something about a breast chain, and my brother was like "what's a breast? is it the mountains on your chest?" and my mom and i looked at each other and cracked up.

i think that during the time that i was wondering if i should let my mother know that i knew what breasts were, i used to plan to ask her what those 'mountains' or 'lumps' were, so that she'd have to tell me and then i'd know anyway and she'd know i knew. i don't think she even told me about periods - i knew about them, and then when we had all those talks in school she knew that i knew. and i remember some book that claudia had bought or borrowed, about girl stuff, and we used to secretly pass it around class and read it clandestinely, and learn about bras and periods and stuff like that. it was a dark little secret.

neither my brother nor i had the sex talk from my parents. we both pretty much figured it out, but my brother's been far more open about asking questions, whereas i got all my answers myself. although i think he also knew the answers, because he'd ask a weird question and then start giggling. so it's like he knows exactly what it is, but is trying to be provocative or trying to confirm it or something. amusing.

i think there must've been more to my sex education.. but i don't really remember more of it. i remember educating other people. like rahul. i remember being at his house, the one which is below mine currently and which he no longer lives in. anyway he wanted me to share my knowledge about sex, and he locked his door and locked my brother and his sister out so that i could tell him. that again sounds terribly dirty, like him and me in a room, about ten years old maybe, talking about sex. but i think janani was there, and maybe poorna. oh and another time, when i was probably younger than that because i remember this as being in namly place, my cousin who's two years younger was sleeping over, and in the middle of the night i was telling her about sex. strangely enough, nowadays i no longer see that cousin except very very rarely, let alone have sleepovers and hushhush middleofthenight talks with her. our parents don't really like each other. i think the only reason we interacted then was that our mutual grandparents were alive, and thus civility between brothers was required. but i digress. oh and then i think that same cousin, or maybe her sister, told me what a blowjob was, while we were in india. i think i was in sec one. i think i already knew what oral sex was, though, only not that done on guys it was called a blowjob. and i think she thought it was 'blowdrop' so she kept saying blowdrop. i think daph was the one from whom i later learnt that it was called a blowjob.

a lot of discussions i have these days, whether with myself or not, are mainly digression.

and, i love my new class, but i really really miss those long crazy discussions in 412 lit class. all the theories and the hardly-ever resolutions and weirdness. i wish we could have that again.

am talking to chit, and i remembered something about lit class last year.

i still haven't gotten over the machine stops discussion, where i realised that i didn't know what progress means, and thus i didn't know what humans have been put on this earth to achieve, and if i don't know that how'm i supposed to know what i'm meant to achieve in my life?

it's a terribly confusing and depressing discussion, and one of those things that i try not to think about because it really leads nowhere. it comes back to "what are we here for?" and there are no answers whatsoever, for such a question.
but then, maybe that's why man made religion. because there are certain unanswerable questions, and believing in god gives you a purpose. which is why i believe that man made god, and my belief in god is a really warped and complicated one. i don't entirely believe that this omniscient, omnipotent being exists up there, looking at all of us and judging all of us. but i belief in god, all the same, maybe as an primaeval spiritual force, because i want to believe in god. so i think it all comes back to, god and religion is in man's hands. but like chit says, maybe we attribute it all to a supposed higher bring because "we don't have enough faith in humanity to leave the world in humanity's hands". and i guess as for the part about judgement, truly the only person who judges you is yourself. so, maybe the answer is that you are god, everyone is god, and the point is that because we want to believe in god as one thing, it's essentially a force. and this is a very weird discussion, but i think it's validated by hindu beliefs, that there is god in everyone. and there are very confusing verses in the gita that say that humans are part of god and yet apart from god. maybe i'm getting sort of closer to understanding god. and all scripture was written by man, wasn't it? is there any evidence to prove that god wrote the bible, or the bhagavad gita or whatever? i think that although i believe in god, i have a hard time believing in miracles or avatars or prophets or whatever.

i've been realising that i'm highly cynical about anything that claims omniscience or omnipotence. like the supernatural - about ouijia board experiences, i don't believe that anybody's lying to me about it, but i still don't essentially believe that spirits hang around and can see things that we can't. i'm often skeptical of science itself; it really can't claim to have all the answers. maybe it has answers to the inconsequential things, but it can't explain the abstract. and the most important things in the world are abstract.

i think religion and believing in god and spirituality, simplifies things, but i enjoy having a brain and the ability to question. which is why i'm most contemptuous of the kind of religion that doesn't question. blind faith feels weak. faith is strong when you've thought it through, and found fault with it, and still can't let go of it. i'm not sure if that means that i think that my particular version of faith is very strong, but i rather like it.

and i'm not an ardent supporter of organised religion either, because i think that when it's organised and you have these so-called rules, it firstly defines and constrains something that should be highly personal and individual, and secondly it gives cause and opportunity for people to misuse religion and abuse it, blaming their extremely unreligious acts of murder or violence on the command of their god. it also creates the superiority complexes that are tearing the world apart today. preaching love and then hating others who do not understand or accept your god. i don't claim to know a lot about christianity or any other religion, i barely know enough about mine for that matter. but i think religion should be a way of life, and hinduism is. the conventions of hinduism are basically habits that are good and healthy to develop. and it doesn't believe in conversion, and the faith allows for individualism. it believes that there is only one god, but he/she can take any form that suits you for relating to and worship. i don't believe that it's better than any other, but it just annoys me when people can believe that nobody but the followers of their own religion can attain salvation, or enlightenment, or whatever it may be called. and what angers me most is that pity for the 'ignorant pagans'. and believing that other forms of religious worship is sinful, that idol-worship is evil and significant of simple-mindedness. religion is essentially for the simple-minded isn't it? it's meant to give comfort to those who have nothing.

ok so that was a really random, general rant. i don't know what i was getting at, but just some issues that i got to thinking about and decided to write down. and i really liked holy cow and the life of pi. because both had that spirit of understanding and accepting so many religions, and at the end of the day it doesn't matter which religion you accept as your own because everything espouses values that are important and it's up to you to adapt it however you want, to find god or comfort or enlightenment or salvation if you believe in it, in your own way.

oh and i discovered something about myself, that i think is quite good. i'm not capable of being unhappy for long periods of time at all. i forget unhappinesses very easily and well. i was terribly pissed off this morning, but i didn't manage to stay that way for more than 15 minutes. but maybe it's a sign that i lack emotional attachment to anything. but that isn't really relevant. anyhow. am rambling.

and shirin and i were planning to go for a movie today, but there's nothing good running besides the last samurai, 21 grams and lost in translation. i've seen the first, can't see the second in the theatre due to age restrictions, and am going to see the third on dvd on sunday so i don't plan on spending money on it, also because according to jireh it doesn't deserve it's hype and for some reason despite not knowing jireh well at all, am inclined to believe him simply because he's the only person i know besides myself, who's downloading alias season 3. it puts him in a rather.. favourable light. anyway cold mountain's releasing thursday, so perhaps on sunday. and shirin might actually be able to go on sunday because she isn't going today. yay! lost in translation, house of sand and fog, cold mountain. in one day!

i also want to watch something's gotta give. don't know when that's out. and mystic river better be soon.

kelly and i decided today, during melissa's lit class, that we like antony&cleopatra very much. it's just as interesting as julius caesar, and much more inspiring because the beginning of the play itself, inspired a dicussion about pragmatism vs love. And love that's intense to the point of selfish ignorance of everything else, or even harming others because of your love for one person. very Jack, Irina.. we've had all these discussions on twop so it's very good to have them in class. whether those actions, spurred on by intense love for an individual, and yet hurting other individuals, are justified. whether that kind of love is acceptable.

and we forgot to ask rollason/kwok about taking us to see goodbye lenin. but it's more of an international history-related film, and we've got kwok tomorrow so will ask.

need to talk to chit! have much to discuss.

i hate surprises... less than three weeks left.

Just realised, Alex McCerdy (probably grossly misspelling his surname) is called Alex the Gynotikolobomassophile on his blog, which means Alex Who Likes to Nibble A Woman's Earlobe. And his English is just atrocious. Jie Ming, on the other hand, says very interesting things on his blog. Like that in his imagery of people walking down the road of life, he feels like the one right at the back trudging with his head looking down and hands in his pockets, kicking at every fallen leaf or little rock along the way. It's really apt.. I feel like that quite often.

You've got such a pretty smile
It's a shame the things you hide behind it
Let 'em go
Give it up for a while
Let 'em free and we will both go find it

I know there's nowhere you can hide it
I know the feeling of alone
I know that you do not feel invited
But, come back, come back in from the cold

Step away then from the edge
Your best friend in life is not your mirror
Back away, come
Back away, come
Back away, come
Back away, come
Back away, come
Back away...
I am here and I will be forever and ever and I ...

I know that there's nowhere you can hide it
I know the feeling of alone
Trust me and don't keep that on the inside
Soon you'll be locked out on your own

You're not alone
You're not alone
And don't say you've never been told
I'll be with you 'til we grow old
'Til I'm in the ground and I'm cold
I'm not sitting up here on some throne
I'll be with you 'til we grow up young
Like a dog you can always come home
Dig up a bone
Look around Down baby downtown
Don't throw me to the pound...

jude - i know

Humans party just over, and there are still people down at the bbq, i shall trust that they will take care of the aftermath of the party ie lotsa bags of chips etc, left over. Anyway. Have some very interesting quotes to relate.

1. Our class was talking about pole-dancing (and it seems that everyone's heard about my traumatic, lifescarring experience with Jireh's poledancing) and then Kelly wanted water so I went with her. And I got kind of distracted by something, so she was trying to remind me that she wanted water, and she said "pole dance" instead of water. Hmm apparently something was still on her mind?

2. Yixun and Tim Ng talking about how Tim's never allowed to go for sleepovers.
Tim: My parents never allow me to go for sleepovers
Yixun: They know you too well lah
Tim: They think I'm a girl or something!
Yixun: They know you better than I thought they did.

Heh and Yixun was holding Tim's hand. It was terribly amusing.

My class is nice. We sat around the swings, singing. Unfortunately it ended up that each class ended up sitting by themselves and doing stuff.. like we were singing, and we weren't even at the bbq pit anymore. 1a was playing truth or dare, and 1b was playing mafia.

I wanna join a band! I miss Unrefined. I shall ask Joshua if I can sing for his band, or.. I think Yee Kiat's band needs a singer. But Choon's the drummer for Joshua's, and Joshua plays guitar damn well. I will ask him during the next drama rehearsal. He's a little minion anyway, and a damn good Eggbert. Though it sucks that Michael's so upset that he's been kicked out of the Eggbert role, but he was really throwing a wanting-attention tantrum by throwing the chair around adn stuff. I understand that he'd be upset, but it wasn't really the right thing to do, making a big show of his unhappiness. Oh well.

On Sam Yeo's blog:
Hottest Hunks

1. Johnny Depp
2. Aragorn (as in, Aragorn aragorn, and not the guy who acts as him)
3. Orlando Bloom
4. Michael Vartan
5. Colin Farrell
6. The new calvin klein model (the one in all the ads in their new campaign)
7. David Beckham (dude, what's with the hair???)
8. Brad Pitt (dude, lose the facial hair!)
9. Ben Affleck
10. Jude Law
11. Joseph Fiennes (his eyes have got that intense window-to-my-soul thing going in Shakespeare in Love)
12.Freddy Prinze Jr (esp in She's All That.)
13.Tom Welling
14.Ewan McGreggor

crap. 14 is not the nicest of numbers. and it is a bit unsettling because it's kinda like lacking in finality. i mean 10 Hottest Hunks or 20 Hottest Hunks would be good, but 14??? that's like neither here nor there. but whateverrrrrrrrr.

anyway, judging from the above list, i think it is also apt to compile another one: Most Hated Female Celebrities (basically, this is the Wives of Hottest Hunks list, but for the sake of appearances, let us not call it that).

Top 10 Most Hated Female Celebrities

1. Posh Spice
2. Arwen
3. Jennifer Aniston
4. Jennifer Lopez (TOTALLY TOTALLY underserving!!)
5. Sarah Michelle Gellar
6. Tom Welling's wife
7. Demi Moore (i don't think Ashton Kutcher is THAT cute, but what the hell.)
8. Orlando Bloom's girlfriend
9. Johnny Depp's wife
10.Sadie Frost (this one REALLY doesn't know a good thing when she sees it)


I have to say that i agree with most of the male list, especially Johnny Depp being at the very top. Except for Ben Affleck, David Beckham and Tom Welling and the Calvin Klein model, and the lack of Hugh Grant and Colin Firth and Gail Harold and so on. But the female list is so stupid. Arwen?? I agree about Posh Spice, but SMG! How can anybody hate her? And Johnny Depp does NOT have a wife. You cannot put him at the top of a Hottest Hunks list and not know that he does not have a wife. He has a lover. And Orlando Bloom's girlfriend and Johnny Depp's lover and Tom Welling's wife hardly count as celebrities. And Jude Law was completely horrible to Sadie Frost. And Demi Moore might be weird but she's hot.

what the fuck.. i am freaking annoyed. my msn refuses to work. when i tell it to sign in, the signing in sign flashes for a couple of seconds and then goes off again. and i can't figure out why. damnit.

my legs hurt like hell. i am super unfit. had some jumping over cones thing for pe, and now my legs hurt when going down stairs. and then i had to go to holland v with ka tsai, to get the gifts for tomorrow's party. one each for best dressed guy and girl, and one for the winner of person bingo. we have a congo monkey, a cute little girl and an adorable bee. heh.

and now i have to bathe and charge video cam and cam and set off for rgs. am terribly happy. it's the weekend, and i get to go back to rg. yay! although as kelly put it, this weekend isn't any less stressful. and i need to make sure that the party goes off alright, and then sunday i probably have my first fine arts class in months. and i have a stack of reading to do, that's atleast an inch thick. and homework: history, both international and european.

Alias is the weirdest show in the world. Really.

Drama is much fun.

what decade does your personality live in?


quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

Very late night/early morning post again. Just finished typing scene 1 of drama, after finishing my lit pc finally. Am freaking tired, but somehow drama gives me a high. This afternoon's madness was clear evidence.

Heh I am such a slow freak. I just realised that all I had to do to unmoosh the shoutbox, was to edit the post with khushnam's supernaturally looooong ooooohhhhhhh, to such a size that the blog is unmooshed. So YAY! It is unmooshed.

heh.

Slough goes to Hollywood

Limos, the world's press, Clint Eastwood ... it was unaccustomed glitz and glamour for the Office party - including Ash Atalla - in LA last week for the Golden Globes

Monday February 2, 2004
The Guardian

I was at my desk a couple of months ago when an email came through. "Congratulations on your Golden Globe nominations". I replied "Brilliant. What are the Golden Globes?"

CUT TO: Sunday last week. BBC America had kindly laid on the big star treatment for the little show from Slough, England. Back of a limo, and on our way to the ceremony. We don't know what to do with ourselves. Too hot, too cold. Does my face look fat in this?

Through security and the car pulled up. I can only imagine the biblical levels of disappointment the assembled crowds felt as out stepped a chubby bloke from Reading (Gervais), a tall bloke from Bristol (Merchant), and a brown bloke who needed a wheelchair assembled (err ... me). It's bedlam. On a raised platform slightly above the noise is Joan Rivers. I think she smiled at me, though perhaps her plastic surgery gave her no option.

And there we are. On the runway at the Golden Globes. Martin Freeman is pushing me past thousands of journalists and cameras. The cast of 24 walk by, and although it's one of my favourite shows, I'm furious the president ignores us. But he's not alone. When even the BBC correspondent looks underwhelmed as we pass, I start to wonder if we've been asked on the red carpet to do the vacuuming. Richard Curtis stops to say hi. He's just so polite.

Finally we're inside. Having done a couple of interviews Ricky has now caught up with us. The first thing he does is nearly push me in front of a bank of cameras taking Barbra Streisand's picture. Imagine the shot. An enormous nose with just the top of my head somewhere below her sagging chin.

The awards room itself feels genuinely turbo-charged. An engineer approaches me and tries to mic me up. We explain that if we were to win, which we won't, Ricky will do the talking. He walks off, but re-appears to try again. We repeat that if we were to win, and there's no way on god's earth, but if we were, which we won't, then Ricky will do the talking. Umm. Don't even think about it. It's the ad-break before our first category and I notice there is no ramp on to the stage. Oh well, at least Stephen Hawking or Christopher Reeve haven't won either. I look around our table and see we have all been lying about how winning doesn't matter. I'm dreaming of first-class travel and women.

And the winner is ... THE OFFICE. And our music plays. And we are on stage. And Ricky is reminded to thank the Hollywood foreign press, which gets a big laugh, though I don't know why. All these millionaires with white teeth and wigs are staring at us. Clint Eastwood must be perplexed. And we are back at our table. And in that two minutes we have made hundreds of new friends.

Only 10 minutes later, I'm watching Ricky up there again. He's beaten the loser, Matt LeBlanc, to best actor. He makes a great speech, but I'm thinking we've benefited from the most horrific clerical error. At a time when it's fashionable to blame your secretary, somewhere the chairman of the Golden Globes is going mental. But so are we as it sinks in. I haven't been so elated since my 400-metres swimming badge.

The party afterwards is like going to the cinema, except all the actors keep walking into each other's films. For my own amusement, I decide to call everyone by both their names. This results in the following unlikely lines. "Oh, thanks very much Jennifer Aniston"; "That's nice of you to say so Jude Law" and my favourite - "Cheers Kevin Costner. I really liked Dances With Wolves". I make an exception for the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, who for some reason I greet with "All right Fergie?" Other than winning, this becomes Ricky's favourite moment. Later Danny DeVito walks by and I tell him we are the same height, except I'm sitting down. Not even a smile.

The faux pas and the night rolled on. We were the cool kids, and Hollywood wanted a little Slough magic. Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, Martin Freeman, Lucy Davis, Mackenzie Crook and everyone who worked on the show - I salute you all. These have been extraordinary days, but all surreal things must end. I am writing this piece on the plane on my way home. Over the intercom, the pilot announced that he was proud to be flying some of the members of the Golden Globe winning Office team back to London. A few people applaud, and as I'm smiling away, an Englishman to my left says, "I wonder where they are. I'd love to meet them."

· Ash Atalla is the producer of the Office

Heh I feel strangely happy. Just finished hist homework.. and it's past 1 am. I should switch msn off in the evenings, until my work's done. Anyway.. I don't have anything to say besides that I'm very sleepy. But I feel obligated to post, if only to get Khushnam's terribly long oooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh off the page and into the archives, so that the mooshedness goes away and the shoutbox etc can go back to being at the side. Goodnight.

Ok so i get this sms from someone whom i presume is halima, saying "hey you guys are with me for orchestra and vocals.. we need to come up with a proposal and set up weekly practices." wtf? They're presuming that I want anything to have to do with the ics at all. All I'm interested in joining is dance. Nothing besides that. And if there's no dance for J1s this year, then so be it. It's so fucking stupid that they think ICS is important to me. Like they try and force me to go for the camp, and then they totally presume that I'm joining orchestra. The bowls of water were the bane of my life. Anyway I messaged back asking if orchestra was compulsory. I will protest if it is compulsory. If it isn't, then happiness. Or I'll just pon until they kick me out. They can't force me to join the cca AND do stuff for it. As it is I've been forced to go to NUS and write an essay about Hinduism, the day after Dramafest. The day after I'm likely to get back very late. How very annoying. Don't get me wrong, I like India, I like being Indian, but frankly the kind of people I've known in ICS are the kind of people I never want to know in my life. Well the seniors aren't all bad I guess.. it's just mainly people in my own batch by whom I've been burnt and mutually there is no love lost between us. But.. yeah well. Have to go now... The Last Samurai. Yay!

How random are you?

this quiz was made by alanna

I have bravely, finally, blocked Khushnam. She no longer amuses me. It's just annoying.

Ok I myself am very sick of posting Khushnam conversations here, but she kills me and I need to share. She just has no concept of self-awareness and she has no idea of the very low place she has in my life, and she treats me like a chummy friend. And she acts smart and says stupid things and winks knowingly. And it's just absolutely pathetic. But at the end of the day she amuses much, with her deludedness and her stupidity. So here goes another dumb conversation.

Khushanm says:
hi aparna
Khushanm says:
i am also busy for the next two weeks i am only free today
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
i'm not free
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
i'm going to bathe now, i have to go for a party and then dinner at night
Khushanm says:
i know u are.......free
Khushanm says:
i know u are........not free
Khushanm says:
i can't belive it u are not free for three weeks and do say.........ok
Khushanm says:
do not say
Khushanm says:
dash
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
what?
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
what are you talking about?
Khushanm says:
don't say the bad word
Khushanm says:
dummy
Khushanm says:

Khushanm says:
just jokeing
Khushanm says:
all these two weeks i have to go for party's so im free only till 12 hten party time
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
ok great
Khushanm says:
with all my you know...........
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
boyfriends. yes i know.
Khushanm says:
ya got it and stop calling them boyfriends they are only friends
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
they're boys and they're friends.
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
and you call them boyfriends anyway
Khushanm says:
ya but
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
a different boyfriend every week
Khushanm says:
no way today all my you know ...........are gonna come and will be out all day be back by mighnight
Khushanm says:
you know going to a club
Khushanm says:
what about u are u also going with oyu're boyfriends today
Khushanm says:
just a guess
Khushanm says:
i found jaleo at last
Khushanm says:
but spanish
Khushanm says:
borning i want she's all i ever had
Khushanm says:
and check for virus
Khushanm says:
no need got it
Khushanm says:
hello aparna are u there how many boyfriends do u have
Khushanm says:
tell me please
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
um. you mean boy friends or boyfriends
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
romantic or platonic?
Khushanm says:
shut up just tell me
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
what?
Khushanm says:
just tell me how many boyfriedns do u have
Khushanm says:
oh please i won't tell any one
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
i have none
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
i have a lot of friends who are guys, but i don't have a boyfriend
Khushanm says:
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh but they are boy and plus their boy friends
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
whatever. you don't really get it.
Khushanm says:
hey hey you are too shy to tell me because im also 16 teen
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
what do you want me to tell you?
Khushanm says:
yes yes please i won't die
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
WHAT?
Khushanm says:
can u tell me please
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
if i did have a boyfriend at the moment, which i don't, i would only have one
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
because i believe in fidelity and trust and monogamy
Khushanm says:
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Khushanm says:
i get it i got ricky martin she all i ever had thanks any way i don't need it now
Khushanm says:
ok ok but don't u dare laugh
Khushanm says:
i have one boyfriend and romantic one i lke him a lot too
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
ok that's great.. aman right?
Khushanm says:
shut up
Khushanm says:
......crazy girl
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
if you say so
you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. says:
...
Khushanm says:
shut up u ...
Khushanm says:
bye gotta go party time the one i liked was pranav bye
Khushanm says:
he is to u know....
Khushanm says:
bye

Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!

How British are you?

this quiz was made by alanna

i am in love with jireh.

he said last october on his blog:
"i am mad with joy. came home from a stoned lunch with the aunties and felt so exhausted... so i watched my downloaded stuff! let's see, will and grace, sex and the city, x-men evolution, gilmore girls, alias and charmed!!!!"

"even though jennifer garner didn't win (didn't garner the awards?) i still love her!!!!!!!!!!!! alias rocks man.

sigh. lovely day. bittorrent rocks. see y'all tomorrow."

kindred spirit?

and he loves x-men and defends his love with long paragraphs of reasons. i feel a connection. although i have no interest in x-men, such passion..

"dammit, the newest season of alias is WONDROUS!!! jen garner is the most gorgeous spy on earth! and glad she's rid of that shitty vaughn. asshole, how dare he remarry?"

OH MY GOD JIREH WATCHES ALIAS! HE DOWNLOADS ALIAS! I AM ABOUT TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK WHILE MOST OF SINGAPORE IS ASLEEP! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKING GOD!

check this out, from his old blog which i found while searching for stupid things that chit will guess:

oh, i managed to download the latest episode of alias in 1 hour FLAT!!!! my god!!! how good is that!!! and i'm like, whooaaa!!! that's 100+++kb/s!!! bittorrent's finally being nice to me!!! going to watch now.


and I'm not entirely convinced about his sexuality, as he is unconvinced of kelly's:

"Yesterday I read someone's blog (this person is rather cute) and got to live vicariously through the entries. I fell in love, I think.

Yeah, so I'm letting my "love those beautiful-as-but-also-about-as-smart-as-marble-statues" days go. Now my sights are even higher. I want those who are beautiful-outside-but-tortured-genius-inside people. Like this person whose blog I was reading. I can't say the name of course, though friends will know esp. my sistas, to protect privacy.

Why have I fallen for this person? The reasons are manifold and variegated. I'm just using long words here so ignore me.

Firstly it's cos I fall in love really easily. I'm a sucker for those asses. Not literally of course, but there we are. But this time I'm quite sure I've fallen. Hard.

Secondly it's cos I know this person in real life. Quite charming and sensitive. And has a nice voice. A very nice voice. And one of my friends also knows this person rather well and from what she says, this person is really quite intelligent and cool. Two words I would never string together under any other circumstance.

Lastly it's cos this person is really disturbed, judging from his blog. And I've got a thing for insanity. Insanity's really attractive. Like Ted Hughes being married to Sylvia Plath. Or Laura having to endure Petrarch.

Argh. I went to this person's blog and signed off in the guestbook, a rather cryptic message. Hope no one gets freaked. I am such a coward."


But in another post he does say that the Charlie's Angels are eye candy. So I don't know. And he says Lorelai is pretty. But I also say that Lorelai is pretty.

haha i feel hyper and i want to be silly and chit wants to sleep so she told me to blog about it and she'll read it and be hyper later. i told her she's funny, because her desire to be hyper later on rather than right now, greatly amuses me. and she said thank you. she's too tired to be hyper now. i cannot understand that. i am completely tired but very hyper and thinking about really silly things that i shall not blog about.

hee i have drawn chit into an interesting conversation. she cannot escape now. hahahahaha.