i'm getting depressed.
it's like i'm leaving my old life behind, and old friends behind, and starting over. and starting over's not bad, but it's depressing.
and it's not even really like this is a new life anyway, because it isn't. most of the people are the same, most of life is similar.
but it feels so different, and there are some people i no longer talk to, some people i no longer -could- talk to, some who've just sort of disappeared.
and it's like i don't need them anymore, and they don't need me.
or, well, i don't talk to them enough to know whether they do need me or not. or want me.
maybe i'm just too busy.
i realised today that i don't know when i have time to find a mirror for my bathroom. because the mirror hasn't been fixed for about a month.
it's quite a depressing thought, that i'm never at home.
and it's unthinkable, the lack of communication that's pervading every aspect of my existence. it used to be unthinkable. it's so weird that i'm keeping so much to myself, whereas i never would have.
i feel so happy nowadays, most of the time, because i love the people around me so much. but when i'm alone i realise that there are people i used to love more than this, and those people are never around me. i don't even know if 'used to love' is accurate. i'm just completely confused.
i wouldn't turn back time, actually. i'm really very happy where i am. i'm doing so much more for myself than i did before. rgs days were happy, but they feel too distant for me to wish that i were there once again. but moving on is such a damn depressing thing.
the worst thing is feeling that someone i used to need so much, doesn't even think of needing me now.
and i don't even know what i'm supposed to do about it. making a phone call has become so hard.
there are very few people whom i can have endless phone calls with, and you know what, those endless phone calls have practically ceased.
i don't know, maybe it's just because i'm never at home.
maybe being at home a bit more would help things.
it's weird that my blog is probably a good enough source to help keep uptodate on my life, but there are some blogless people whose lives .. ok whatever i can't be bothered to continue the rest of this rant.

grr. happythoughts, happythoughts, please.

gilmore girls was happy! but i feel too drained to start describing that happiness now. it's sort of left me anyway. there was a reallyreally eartoear grin on my face at some point before this.
nitpick: when luke hugged jess, jess's face was on luke's right shoulder. and then they cut to a different camera angle, and jess's face is suddenly on luke's left shoulder.
lorelai has a really really beautiful smile.