gahhhh party is booring. all of my dad's colleagues. not a bunch of very interesting people. but a couple of old rafflesians, and they're the most interesting people. hmm i wonder why. or rather, they're the people who i like talking to. because there's something to talk about. i talked to the australian woman a bit about her kid though. small and blonde and incredibly adorable and australian accents on little kids are soooo cute. the mother's quite good-looking too. and then there were these people whose son is in j2 RJ humanz, and i have no idea who he is. he's called daniel, he does history meaning he could be in any one of the classes, and they can't remember which class. he had mona chew for econs and hated her, and he did Lit S. probably one of the hundreds of people you see around but don't know. anyway they fairly reassured my mother that next year will be better, and that all arts students party like there's no tomorrow.

but overall more boring than last week's, and last week was already boring although it got somewhat fun at the end cos a couple of my friends turned up but they were really tired because they came straight from a dance rehearsal for a dance that i was also supposed to be in but my mom didn't let me since i would've had to go for rehearsal before and during promos. thank god i didn't join or i might have just been the straight F girl. and also, my mom's friend gayathri who's choreographing, apparently is quite unabashed this time about screaming at people who don't dance properly. she's always been very straightforward, but screaming gayathri aunty is not good. she's a gorgeous dancer though. she choreographed a dance i was in, when i was about 8 or 9. and then the fashion show when i was 14. she's good. and very beautiful. ah well. i was talking about something. oh the waiter this evening is very cute. last time the waiter was fugly. i think two years ago also there was a somewhat cute waiter. but this one's the best so far, and he's really nice if a little bit quiet. well, not like i can really strike up a conversation with the waiter at my parents' party. anyway they're like.. marty types. ok that sounds really snobbish, and is a gg reference for all you confused people. and he would've bartended if my parents had decided to serve drinks at a diwali party, but they never serve drinks at diwali parties.

anyway i have to go now and change because my friend's picking me up to go for the movie that we couldn't go for last night.

don't forget: HALLOWEEN PARTY TOMORROW at 630pm in Pandan Valley BBQ pit. Costumes are your entry passes.
i'm trying to see if i can buy a couple of huge pumpkins and carve them and put tealights inside. would be cool.

oh my fricking god!!!!!!!

new iPods! beautiful iPods! i suddenly decided to visit the apple website, and what comes up??? a BLACK iPod! Bernasty! Black iPod! here is your chance! and it's a U2 special edition so it comes with a U2 poster and a $50 iTunes voucher! so i get all excited and think, i MUST get that.

and then what do i see? iPod Photo! iPod in full colour! much as a black iPod is so damn cool, the Creative competition is really kicking in and this full-colour iPod is so much sexier than the Creative Zen media centre whatever thingy, because it's the same shape as a normal iPod! and because it's not a special edition, i can stick to my vow that i will not buy an iPod until after march common tests. i don't know if i can wait that long, and who knows, by then there might be an even newer, cooler version. but iPod in full colour is amazing! and it even comes in a 60 gig size, which i don't really need, and since the smallest is 40 gig it settles it for me that i can indeed have some use for 40 gig since i can store photos on it! afterwards i can save up for the belkin card reader so that while on vacation i'll never again have to worry about not even media cards for the camera. ohhhh my gawd so exciting!

in other news, my mother was really pissed off with me because i went for dance this morning against her will, and she was in a bad mood cos she had so much stuff to do for the party tonight and my maid was being eggshell-IQ-ish as usual. she does the most insanely foolish things which i can't care to recount now. geez. but anyway i got yelled at that did i really want to get involved in more cca stuff when i have such screwed up grades and blah blah blah. i can totally see where she's coming from, but it's a little late to be pulling out of the dance, and plus the dance is beautiful. she threatened that if i left for dance she wouldn't let me back in, but that's such an empty threat so i went anyway. my dad was also rather pissed off, and asked if i didn't want their input in my decisions anymore at all or some such nonsense. gah. so i went, and two hours later i get a call from my mom to ask when i'm getting back, and she opens the door when i ring the bell, so all's relatively fine. although again they're still trying to get me to reconsider. i really don't think pulling out is an option, however. and the dance is beautiful. sigh. must work hard during hols. and she's still stressing over the party having to be perfect, but currently they've gone to see the teachers and hopefully purvis and batchelor will say nice enough things to offset the salina and seah input. eek.

i want to go shoppppppppingggg. with lots of money to spend. :( although after this morning's fiasco i'm thinking that making my mum take me shopping might be a lost cause, since this morning she said that if i wasn't going to listen to her why should she take me shopping dadadadada. ok i have to go shower and get ready now. another mundane night of small talk coming up.

wow i haven't been here since tuesday! long post coming up:

wednesday was dull. went for pw, stoned around a lot, slept through the hair presentation and zhi an noticed but i figure they didn't really care anyway, presented our thing which went off pretty well, clipped sophie's nails because she is completely hopeless, chatted with choon and soph, then the rest went to mac's and a i went home. for the life of me i cannot remember what i did after that. even my extensive blogging on the class blog reveals nothing. i guess i must've slept for a while, and then done math or something. gross. i think sophie's right - i'm doing more studying now than i did before promos. jireh rubbed that in real hard this morning. ewww gross statement.

anyway. was fun talking to jireh after a long while. but being reassured by chronic overachievers when you've got the grades i have is not very.. reassuring. my grades are perfectly embarrassing.

to go back to the recapping of my life. so wednesday was a bore, thursday morning i decided not to go to school on time. so i watched gg which was a better ep this time, but yet again totally forgettable luke-lorelai scenes. could they BE more uncouply. geez. but atleast some interesting developments, all of which i was spoiled about. norman mailer is a boring guy. after that got to school at about 1230, hung around doing admin stuff. i'm only ever going to school to see teachers, to submit various rp/pw/nonsense stuff. oh shit by tomorrow i've got to finish the cip shit. ugghh. went for purvis' lesson, then ran off with sophie to watch Before Sunset. nasty almost went with, but as usual she cancelled. i think i should announce to the world that it's really annoying when people cancel plans. this isn't a bitter rant towards anybody in particular and definitely not the bernasty thing cos that was hardly consequential, but it has reminded me of a peeve i have - you know, don't say you'll do something and then suddenly change your mind. it's really a pain in the ass. actually it's not a peeve, just a general decency thing.

Before Sunset was really really good anyway. i looooovved it. it was way more fulfilling than De-Lovely or White Chicks. White Chicks fulfilled the laughter quotient, but for obvious reasons it's not the sort of movie that you take away a whole lot from. De-Lovely was perfectly lovely, but in the style of the time, imagine that said in a really dahhhling perfunctory tone. great music, great directing, great musical sequences and all, but at the end you don't really feel a great deal for the characters. they didn't develop it enough, somehow. and the way the marriage between the two of them worked, it could have been so interesting and poignant but somehow it was only vaguely touching, which is sad because the directing style was sort of intended to bring the weird notions of love across. in any case, Before Sunset was much better, maybe because i've actually seen the previous one Before Sunrise. both are really really good, -natural- movies. you could totally put yourself in the person's shoes - i mean they're just normal people having a conversation. so he's ethan hawke and she's got a great ass, but still, normal people, a chance meeting and a conversation that lasts 9 years. i really really liked it.

after that walked around paragon and tried on a bunch of very expensive things at armani exchange. they have a couple of really nice things, but overall i don't love it too much. i need to lose weight. my curves are just disgusting. waist curves, thigh curves, ass curves - you get the picture.

today: got woken up at 8 by sophie to rush to school to speak to hodge. i told her to gimme 45 minutes, they started speaking to him at 825 so i walked in 20 minutes later and said i'd been feeling ill so i stayed home in the morning but rushed cos i wanted to talk to him too. but the important stuff got said before i arrived, so it was a bit pointless. went for kwok's lecture: as usual stupid. did the admin stuff, passing rp forms to pe dept, some stuff to mrs v. talked with jireh a bit, and then played risk which i lost horribly because my ALLIES GANGED UP AGAINST ME. kelly was KICKING MARK under the table to try and ally with him. i.d.i.o.t.

oh we did illegal things in school!!! hahahaha. so fun. ok nothing to do with sex, drugs or cigarettes. but it was funkyy. so my room is temporary storage for the stuff. the stufffff hahaha.

then i went to orchard to meet choon vivien and ruth. went to forever21 which had a few nice things but overall wayyy too crowded and ordinary american stuff. it's very delia's-ish. choon, kelly and i escaped early to go to coffee club express for lunch. along the way tried shoes at charles and keith, boots and stilettos at nine west, and briefly paused at fcuk. then lunch - prata wrap, some controversy, tissue paper origami cranes and some silence and me sprawling on the table and suggesting doing math to get over the boredom, and then bit by bit choon, kelly and i escaping. kelly and i went to bcbg where i tried a dress which fit me pretty ok but whose neckline went halfway down my chest. otherwise a nice dress, but dresses show off my curves to great effect which is bad cos my curves are fugly. gah. i will keep trying dresses until i find a cut that suits me. i never wear dresses. i'm turning girly. first skirts, now dresses. what next. when i came out of the dressing room, soph had magically appeared! so we walked around dkny and calvin klein and they got bored while i marvelled at the gorgeousness of the calvin klein parka and the woven leather bag and boots and heels, and a couple of really pretty tops which were, amazingly, under hundred bucks so i need to try my mother's generosity. she's somewhat successfully convinced me that the fcuk jacket is pointless right now, since i'll maybe wear it a bit in india, and the next opportunity i'll have for warm wear will be a year later, and after that in university or whatever but by then won't i want -new- jackets that aren't more than a year behind season. blazers might be out of style by then for all i know. so for now i should buy singapore clothes and not warm clothes. makes sense. also, i've convinced my mom to translate her generosity when it comes to buying indian clothes, into greater generosity when buying non-indian clothes, because i only wear the indian clothes once or twice a year and it's pointless spending 500 bucks on things that in my entire life i'll probably wear about 5 times. okay so there are fashionistas in europe who spend 50000 on clothes they'll wear once in a lifetime and pose for a magazine or two in, but that's a different budget altogether.

ended up in fcuk, sophie tried some clothes and a skirt was tighter on me than on her, proving the immense size of my ass. but it was a real nice skirt on soph. and i bought a really really pretty red canvas purse for 60 bucks. definitely an impulse buy, but it's completely beautiful and really roomy but still compact and overall gorgeous the zipper looks really cool and it's worth every cent. i have to remember to bring cash on monday because i didn't have enough, and sophie paid via atm on my behalf and will kill me if i don't return the money.

my movie for tonight, chokher bali, got cancelled and i only found out as soon as i got on the bus to go home, having left early at about 30 in order to get home and eat and change in time. but minty wasn't free or something. damn. anyway, my mom liked my purse and tittered a little about me randomly spending 60 bucks on a purse, but she likes red as well so overall approved. damn, if only i could make her pay for it but it would be horrible to go now and ask her to gimme 60 bucks for a purse i already bought.

i will go now and do something useful. i've done absolutely nothing since i got home, and my lower front teeth hurt because i have an ulcer on my gum below my front teeth and the pain's all the way up to the teeth. i think i might actually sleep early. hm.

today was extremely weird. basically was in school for civics, english i think - for which purvis didn't turn up - and history lec. after that everyone ponned math lec and i was wandering around school looking for various teachers for various purposes, and soph and i had plans to go to orchard. well we were nice and informed batchelor, salina and seah that the class had vanished and therefore we were vanishing too. salina was amazingly nice about it, since it was for pw. of course soph and i weren't really vanishing specifically for pw, but because of pw because the rest vanished for pw. something like that. salina can be surprisingly nice when you're talking to her about non-economics stuff.

finally left at almost 12 and saw shane outside with bags full of food. apparently the class had all gone to ruth's house. well, atleast 2 groups worth, and they were camped out there doing pw. hmm i have done no pw today and math choon and viv skipped school presumably to do pw and yeekiat joined them after, i think. but i don't feel particularly guilty. i'll call someone in a little while and see how it's going and then add my bit. i hope they're not bitching about my irresponsibleness today.

ruth's house, buffed nails, lounged around with really great chillout jazz and stuff playing. slept for a while, and then went to orchard. watched white chicks with soph, which was hilarious.

did you know that i checked in 4 shops and de-lovely soundtrack was sold out in all? but apparently when it -was- selling, it was 28 bucks in hmv and 19.90 in sembawang. why do they sell the same stuff for almost ten bucks more? i guess hmv, borders, tower etc are best for the hard-to-find stuff. and de-lovely was either ordered in a very small amount, or someone bought out all the stores or it's extremely popular. the last option is strange as it's only playing in one cinema, so how can it be that popular? hmm.

anyway i did find swing when you're winning for a steal at hmv - $15. i want more music. i need to visit gramaphone sometime. gah but depressingly, i'm leaving for india in less than two weeks and i haven't got any portable means of playing music yet. besides my ancient discman which hardly works anymore. but it makes sense that i don't deserve to buy an ipod right now. so i'm wondering if i should buy a new discman instead. that atleast is only about 200 - 250 bucks. hmm.

ok so today was depressing. but then went for lunchish thing at secret recipe with nasty, and bitched about grades for a while and ate pumpkin soup and then soph joined us and bitched some more about school in general, then nasty went back to school and soph and i to orchard. we amazingly, despite being in uniform, got tickets for de-lovely without being asked for id. chit surmises that they must've figured that anyone brash enough to try and enter an m-18 film in school uniform must be in j2 and 18. so de-lovely was good. lovely music, lovely clothes, directing was very clever and the whole thing rather beautifully captured the decadence and underlying troubles of the jazz era. it was very nice. cheered me up quite a bit.

but now i'm really tired and stuff and have been in a bad mood for a long while today and just had a frustrating conversation with the parental units, so i'm going to sleep. pw and bad grades and lack of sleep is a lethal combination.

but before that, i found this on a lot of people's blogs, so i did it for lack of anything better to do other than math. i guess my answers are rather reflective of my current tiredness/irritatedness. i want to go shopping and my mom's been invited to a fashion show at mumbai se on thursday and i almost convinced her to take me but she's taking her friend instead because i have school. gahhhh. and she's got only invites for two people. sigh.

PAST:
1.) first grade teacher's name: mrs pauline tan
2.) last word you said: avalanche
3.) last song you sang: well would you evah
4.) last thing you laughed at: my brother
5.) last time you cried: yesterday
6.) what color socks are you wearing: don't wear socks at home
7.) what's under your bed?: dust, chit's history file, shoes, guitar box, more dust.
8.) what time did you wake up today: 7.11
9.) line from the last thing you wrote to someone: she deleted it and the one on the blog doesn't work either


PRESENT:
1.) current hair: black, wavy and wet, curly when dry, clipped away from face.
2.) current clothes: las vegas tshirt with a scorpion on it, and black nike shorts
3.) current jewelry: silver earrings, silver chain, silver ring.
4.) current annoyance: pw, my pathetic promo grades.
5.) current smell: marks and sparks hand cream
6.) current longing: a lit S?
7.) current desktop picture: luke and lorelai
8.) current worry: lit S. pw.
9.) current favorite article of clothing: my stripey red/pink jacket from Bath.
10.) do you currently like someone: i like my friends.


FUTURE:
1.) what is your career going to be: i have no idea. just had a frustrating discussion with parents trying to convince me that economics was the way to go. i'm not sure myself.
2.) if you could live anywhere in the world, where: paris or london. or any big colourful city that's modern and ancient at the same time.
3.) how many kids do you want: 3, with atleast one girl to dress up in pretty clothes.
4.) what kind of car will you drive: i used to want a lexus sc-430 in black with amber seats, but lexuses (lexi?) bore me lately. i think i'd rather have an exotic car, like an alfa romeo, or a bugatti, or a porsche or ferrari. although for family cars, sedans etc probably a jaguar or a bmw would be nice.


FAVORITES:
1.) favorite physical feature on a girl: hair and smile
2.) favorite physical feature on a guy: eyes and smile.
3.) one person you wish was here right now: no one, really. i'm happily alone at the moment. people would just increase my frustration. and when i'm around people i feel compelled to talk, but i'm not in a talkative mood.
4.) favorite author: i like a lot of authors, but no particular favourite right now.
5.) favorite coffee: i'm not much of a coffee person.
6.) favorite smell: flower by kenzo or glamour by ralph lauren.
7.) favorite way to waste time: computer, what else.
8.) favorite season: fall, in places other than singapore.
9.) favorite color: blue
10.) favorite time of day: evening


FASHION:
1.) how many coats and jackets do you own: about 6 or 7? i've never counted
2.) do you wear a watch: yes
3.) favorite pants color: pants black, jeans blue. i wear jeans more often than pants though.
4.) most expensive item of clothing: possibly my priyadarshini rao lehenga which i wore the other day.
5.) most treasured: the stripey jacket? i like all my clothes a lot, actually. i guess my indian clothes are pretty treasured as well. my abercrombie jeans are treasured.
6.) gold or silver: white gold and diamonds.

YOUR FRIENDS:
1.) do your friends know you: i suppose so.
2.) what do they tend to be like: sweet, insane, comforting.
3.) can you count on them: definitely.
4.) can they count on you: i think so.
5.) do you find it hard to trust people: depends on over what issue.


LASTS:
1.) last book you read: (and finished) the veiled kingdom, carmen bin laden. it's been a long time since then; i'm currently working on three books.
2.) last movie you watched: de-lovely, this afternoon with soph
3.) last movie you saw in theaters: de-lovely
4.) last show you watched on tv: something on cnn
5.) last song you heard: gold digger, by supreme beings of leisure
6.) last thing you had to drink: water
7.) last thing you ate: a scrumptious chocolate chip cookie
8.) last time you showered: about 8 pm?
9.) last time you smiled: about a half hour ago, before my discussion with my parents became frustrating.
11.) last person you hugged: i can't remember. i don't think i've hugged anyone in a while. i need a hug.
12.) last person you danced with: heh, myself. while listening to swing when you're winning and singing along to have you evah.
13.) last person you talked to online: kelly.
14.) last person you talked to on the phone: chit.
15.) last thing you bought yourself: a movie ticket?


DO YOU?:
1.) smoke: no
2.) do drugs: no, drugs bad.
3.) drink: not a lot, but yes.
4.) sleep with stuffed animals: sort of, but my stuffed animals generally end up on the floor within minutes.
5.) have a dream that keeps coming back: no
7.) believe there is life on other planets: i guess i'm not self-centred enough to believe that in the entire universe only our little planet has the fortune of having life to destroy it.
8.) read the newspaper: sometimes, usually the life section
9.) have any gay or lesbian friends: yes
10.) believe in miracles: occasionally
11.) consider police a friend or foe: usually friends. i never considered it, really. i guess the gestapo aren't friends, though. singapore police are ok i think.


FEELINGS:
1.) do you have any regrets: definitely. to come back to that obsessive topic of promos, i regret not studying more.
2.) i am happiest when: i'm with people who're good to talk to and funny at the same time, or when i have lots of chocolate.
3.) i feel lonely: i'm not generally a lonely person. not a loner either, but i mostly have people around me or if i don't, it doesn't usually bother me.
4.) what makes you mad: lots of things - irresponsible people, exams, parents quite often, right now i'm just irritated with the world. i guess lack of sleep makes me mad.


OTHER STUFF:
1.) what's the craziest thing you have ever done: i can't think of anything crazy enough to qualify as crazy, although i'm pretty sure i've done a lot of stuff that felt crazy at the time, like the entire female half of the class ponning pe on a regular basis but that's a sad thing to be the craziest thing i've ever done so i'm pretty sure there's been worse.
2.) any bad habits: the way i generally lead my life is a bad habit.
3.) any secret crushes: nope.
4.) do you think too much: sometimes. and sometimes i don't really think.

oh i am touched at the number of people who've offered comfort upon reading the last post. there's nothing like feeling loved and cared for. thank you.

anyway i'm better, my tummy's turning itself over and over, over getting results back tomorrow but i've come to terms with stuff anyway. it's my fault, i'll deal with it and next year better be better or there'd better some good cliffs to fling oneself off dramatically, somewhere in singapore. pulau ubin, perhaps. god i hate that place. anyway my sense of humour's back firmly in place and gahhh whatever i hate being depressed so i'm just going to make myself feel fine. get the results-receiving over with, mope a while longer, get back to life.

eugene & viv: i didn't like the fic! it was so girly-mush. rather unrealistic.

oh i realised today that gilmore girls has gotten really annoying. i mean, what is in their minds when they're writing scripts nowadays? there's no spirit, romance, the quirk is just stupid, and there's no chemistry, and even the grooming's going down the drain. lorelai and luke had terrible hair this last ep, and dean keeps forgetting to shave. geez. and pamie's right: the problem with rory is that she hasn't changed. in terms of character she hasn't changed, but in terms of what they're showing of her life it's totally different - they're not showing her obsessing about school and stuff anymore, but it's just her and that insufferable boyfriend of hers whom she's supposed to be sleeping with but when he tries to make out with her she ducks and talks to lane about that poor girl's love life. if zach could only get it together, it would be a welcome distraction from the failing romances among the other characters. luke and lorelai haven't kissed in three episodes or something. or no kisses that i noticed, which says a lot because if there were good kisses i would be the first to remember them and to have watched them over and over and over and memorised them.

do you know that in written in the stars, when lorelai goes "babette and miss patty?" three times on the phone to luke, the first two times it's the same clip? they just used it twice. i was bored enough yesterday while my entire family was out partying, to replay it over and over until i confirmed that her hand was in the same position and her eyes moved in the exact same way both times. sheesh.

you know i had a nightmare that purvis flunked me for lit and was really mad at me for writing such awful essays that he gave me 6 marks for my silas marner essay? and he was yelling at me and i was crying. terrible terrible nightmare. manifestation, obviously, at my unhappiness that lit S is but a broken fantasy.

anyway getting back to fun stuff - party season is a good time! my mom's navratri bash on friday was good fun, and she's got funky friends. one of them brought a box of AMAZING homemade chocolate chip cookies that i've been devouring in large quantities since yesterday. another one is apparently married, but goes around town dressed in coordinated outfits with her boyfriend. and both of them are easily older than 45. sssscandalous! another one is from a family that's worth 400 million dollars. and there are several with very cute kids. lots of little girls in pretty outfits. lucky little girls, because when i was a little girl my mom wasn't very fashion-forward whereas those little girls' mommies are mostly rather gorgeous. my mom's gotten much cooler over the years. i quite love being indian, it's so fun and the jewellery and saris are nothing short of gorgeous! i finally wore the diamond polki necklace that my mom bought by telling my dad that his darling daughter wanted it, and after that my mom always wore it although it looks better on me, and this was really the first time that i wore it for a party. indian jewellery is gorgeous but heavy.

and: halloween party next sunday at pandan valley bbq pit. my mom won't allow anyone into the house though, because on saturday she's having her diwali party and she refuses to have anyone invade the house for a while after that, so party's not upstairs and no cooking upstairs. cooking will have to be pre-done or just good old snacks. anyway halloween should be a candy feast! trick-or-treating in pandan valley is much fun, so we can just all go around and gather lots of candy, and then regroup at the bbq pits, feast on all the candy and fall into sugar comas. i will appoint people to be in charge of food, music and decor. and everyone's expected to wear a costume, duh. maybe i'll also put someone in charge of creating speedy invites. yay this should be fun.

also, lasalle theatre arts is doing a production of LYSISTRATA this thursday through saturday. it's for FREE! so we should go.

now i will go and ponder my halloween costume.

so i've been mia for a while. but i'm re-evaluating my life. i think my history's screwed up as well. rolly spoke to me about it on friday, and neither of us was happy about my history. i think international might/will/hopefully will be better. i don't want to flunk a third subject. it would be nothing short of agony.

so. yours truly has truly fucked up her first year of jc.
therefore the re-evaluation of priorities.

i'm going to move on a little. figure things out. math, for instance. and econs. and the french revolution.

i guess it took a knock that was hard enough to make me lose faith in myself. i've been sailing for far too long on that little bit of intelligence that got me through without the effort that deserves good grades. it appalls me now, that if i slip up a little, i slide so far down. ok fine to give my brain a bit of credit, i slipped up a lot more than a little. i just took a royal slide heading straight and very fast for the shit.

i've got to make good on that promise that aparna gets what she wants. this time she wants the grades. she really wants the grades.

i need to prove something to myself this time around.

ok i would add this stuff to my previous post because i just read vaish's blog and got reminded of more funny things, but my link to edit posts always works way too slow so i'm just gonna adapt her post into a new one here - mainly plagiarised - so i can have these moments in my own archives. that afternoon ranks really high up among the times i wish i could just bottle up and keep forever. like that thing in harry potter - pensieve. i'd really like a pensieve.

*

to begin with, noone thought of actually -crossing- the road. we stood on either side and yelled over the vrooms of cars, not wanting to cross over. kelly and shoojee finally crossed the no-mans-land and came to our side, although ultimately we all crossed back over to go to jelita.

kelly, to shooj: "can i steal your cheese? because you took my fake tartare sauce." very matter-of-factly. ahh matter-of-fact was the word i was looking for this morning when i used that entire long thing about "solemn straightfaced something something hilarious" to describe the manner in which kelly spoke. did i mention she was really in top form yesterday? it was much fun.

so we had a conversation about fake sauce. because kelly was looking for the "fake tartare sauce" and of course i had to wonder if there was a real tartare sauce and a fake one. btw, is it tartare or tartar? tartar sounds like a road - maybe that's why i always imagined tartar sauce as black, although it's actually white with bits of stuff in it, looks a bit like mayo really, but then that's fake tartare so maybe real tartare is black. i've always thought it was tartar, but vaish spelt it tartare. anyway so apparently tomato sauce is just some chemical mixture, and actually they even put plastic in it or something. and now that i think of it, yeah tomato sauce really does not taste like tomato. pomodoro is tomato sauce, or tomato puree. and i like that taste, especially in pasta. so we had a nice little debate about fake sauces and whether chilli sauce really has chilli in it or if it's just some acid that makes it spicy, or vinegar or something. and apparently vegetarians are more in danger from synthetic food because it's easier to simulate vegetables than meat. although, really, a broccoli looks like a broccoli as much as a fish looks like a fish right? logically. i like broccolis and tomatoes and.. most vegetables. not brinjals though. not just cos they're phallic, but my mom never had brinjals at home because she hates them although i never figured out why.

so some tidbits: these are not really funny to read; i guess you really had to be there and we were all pretty high on the continuous laughter so everything was hilarious after a while and i think i mentioned that we laughed our stomachs completely sore. but anyway putting all these here is more for me to re-read and remember and enjoy, because my blog is a glorified diary of sorts anyway.

tsz san worrying about having left his name on the note to mrs seah.

aps: "kelly, queen of the cool."
kel: "why, is that a suprise?"
vaish: "in your case? definitely."

vaish (referring to her phone memory): "damn, i'm annoyed. my memory's full!"
kel: "well that explains a lot of things."

oh there was some bit that i can't exactly remember, but kelly said something mean to me, and i (playfully) hit her, and she hit me back, and we were (playfully) hitting each other for a couple of seconds with vaish getting excited about a catfight while the boys were laughing their heads off like hyenas. it was a good moment. and playful catfight a day keeps the depression away.

vaish: talking about my dead contractor who left our tiles half done.
aps: "oh! did he die while laying your tiles?"
the closet nympho aka kelly: *gasp* aparna!
then i realised what exactly i'd said and tried to hide my head, and then in between laughter spasms, vaish and i shared a gg reference - "this great man was not brought down by my vagina".

oh incidentally, kelly is the new word for closet perv. usage: "you're such a kelly!" or "are you kellying again?!"

ohhhh and finally there was the one of us trying to explain humping to randy (irony!):
vaish says she says this although i remember myself saying it: "when a boy and girl love each other very much..."
kel: "hey! it doesnt have to be a boy and girl you know!"
randy: "H-U-M-P-I-N-G.... porn right? then?" (the 'then' was said very matter-of-factly, like waiting for the rest of the information)

we had a good afternoon.
*

i was all depressed a while ago about my two Os, but i watched jerry maguire and although it's a depressing movie the ending's fairly nice, and then i read vaish's post and started hooting with laughter. literally hooting/howling/whatever, because my brother came in all the way from his room to see what the hell i was doing. and now i'm in higher spirits. so i'll go dampen them a little with pw. yesterday was a much better day than today.

yesterday was a pretty good day. it started off bad with a phone call from chit at 7am, about the front page of the newspaper: an article about downloading being now illegal under singapore law, and therefore a huge blow to all my favourite american tv obsessions. so i was pretty depressed for a while, but the day got better and i figured maybe a download-ban would be good for me, so i got over it. well, sort of. last night i suddenly felt very sad when i thought about the sudden pangs of yearning that i have for alias between seasons, and how i was going to stand that for 4 shows for a whole 2 year span. but this morning's paper offers hope, because it seems to be ok as long as you don't download on a scale that causes huge financial loss to a copyright owner - that's what they meant by commercial scale. generally, in these things, news that comes along is pretty much good news because it's technology. pirates will find a way around it, and i'm not really a pirate anyway since i don't think the amount of downloading i do causes much financial loss; it's tv anyway. the only thing, i suppose, is that when the shows syndicates and comes along to channel 5 i don't really end up watching it. i will ponder more upon that. but basically there is hope. maybe i'll stop watching Lost before i get too emotionally invested in it, and just wait for it to come to singapore, which it should soon considering the success of alias and the fact that Lost is such a great show. the critics are loving it, yay.

anyway, back to yesterday: as usual, useless in terms of lessons. morning was the s paper talk, mr chin was rather nice when vaish and i spoke to him afterwards, and there might be hope for econs next year. teacher-meeting thing: hopefully purvis and batchelor can temper the inevitably horrible feedback of mrs seah and ms salina. ah well. and then there's the humanz booth. and pw. not too bad overall. history lecture: i'm hoping against hope that i do ok for my essays.

then skipped math lec, hung around the canteen and then the geog room. went and borrowed casablanca and jerry maguire. i've only watched a little bit of casablanca a long time ago when my mom was watching it on tape. i was really small. and jerry maguire i keep meaning to watch, and everytime it comes on tv i miss most of it. although i know it's not a very good movie, it's renee zellweger, so i'll watch that. then there didn't seem to be econs, so went to ruth's house to watch dirty dancing. i love that movie. makes me happy. i can watch it forever. especially the dance at the end, completely wonderful.

then we were walking back to go for math, although i really didn't feel like going back for math. and who do we encounter on the way but the rest of the class! and they just ponned math. so we're like "wow, you just left?" and kelly says, in this straightfaced semi-indignant hilarious way, "well we left a note!" and vaish and i almost fell off the pavement laughing. our class seriously rocks. as i told mike, which other class in the world just leaves a note for a teacher and coolly walks out of school after the other half has already ponned half the classes to go watch a movie that's as old as we are? kelly was in top form, humour-wise. vaish smsed herself a whole bunch of hilarious things that were said, which i will post as soon as vaish refreshes my memory. i do remember tsz san wondering about rgs girls having a sex blog and kelly, once again with that hilarious straight face, said "it's not supposed to be official.."

anyway, some of us went to jelita where i spent 16.50 on vanity fair (the magazine, not the movie or the book because i have the book and have to see the movie soon) because it had johnny depp on the cover and had actually just arrived from overseas in a package, and i got the guy to open it so i could look and my jaw dropped at the price but i'd made the guy open it so i felt bad and bought it. then pizza hut, where we sat for more than 2 hours and laughed our stomachs sore, talking about everything from moving clams that weren't clams, to weird chinese cuisine to sex and well basically everything. oh they ordered some really smelly pizza, and there were pieces of things that were moving cos they were really thin and moved in the wind, and kelly (again, with a straight face) told me that they were live clams, and i obviously jumped and everyone laughed at me because i didn't have the presence of mind to remember that clams are like shells. i was an infinite source of trivia, informing them about november sweeps in the american tv season, and the fact that peope who're allergic to shellfish are also allergic to cockroaches. it's good to know these things.
anyway, it was a good time.

after that went to whsmith, they have a rather cool illustrated da vinci code. it's disgusting how commercial that book's become, it's like a franchise or a brand all by itself. although it definitely is very interesting. i wanted to buy the diary that will change your life thing, but i resisted. it was 41 bucks, although highly entertaining. i think i might buy it at the end of the week.

gah ok i started this post at 10 in the morning and now it's 4 in the afternoon, cos in between viv came to do pw and choon came and i just saved as draft, and i have another o to keep my math o company. econs. i can't believe i did so badly - i thought my stuff was not too bad. i actually studied for econs. i hope i can wrangle another mark tomorrow and get it up to e. another o is just awful. and i hope my hist and lit don't screw up. this is fucking horrible. anyway i don't feel like blogging anymore. i'm going to go do pw or math or something.

to add to my HATE list, i have ted casablanca. and i -like- kristin veitch, especially as she loves vaughn as much as i do. and well, the point is not that these things are inaccurate, which they're unlikely to be, but actually i'm just hating the bearer of bad news. what was it? "the nature of bad news infects the teller" - something like that. although besides that, his rape and bloody murder of the english language have already had him high on the decapitation polls for a long time.

he says:

"Behind the Seethings
The real-life espionage goin' down on the Alias set in Burbank is far more interesting than anything those wig-obsessed writers could come up with for next season, don't you think? No exactly open warfare between Michael Vartan and ex-with-the-most-moxie Jennifer Garner (yet). There have been no Ben Affleck sightings that I'm aware of (yet), but there is the mystery of the chairs...

I'm told by Alias sources that the chair setup has always been pretty much the same. Everybody has one of those fab director's chairs with their name on it (hooray for modern-day Hollywood!), and they're all together in a row--standard stuff.

This, I'm told, is no longer the case. Last week, Mr. Vartan's seat was moved far, far away--like 25-30 yards--and around the corner. He's in a hallway, all by himself. Oh, okay, they tossed in a minion to accompany him to Siberia, too kind. Jen, natch, stayed put. Whether this seating switcheroo was at Vartan's request (or hers), I do not know.

A helpful Alias exec type informed me no changes in seating have occurred. Oh, really?

A rep for Vartan had this to say: "I'm not aware of any chairs being moved."

So, gosh, shall we guess who'll get killed off at the end in a grisly fashion? Now, I should tell you that certain Alias vets are starting to wonder if everyone's getting killed off sooner than later.

Still, many sources are agreed on this: "Vartan's head is definitely on the block," pooped a single, solitary insider who regularly inhales Vartan's secondhand smoke.

Oops! I did it again--gave away something I wasn't supposed to! That's right. Mr. V. has been hittin' the death sticks again. I can hardly find fault, as I used to smoke three packs a day. Hopefully, he'll see what a damn hunk he is and stop killin' himself--soon. But I ain't his ma.

I wonder if the return o' the bad habit has something to do with J.G. being a health nut 'n' all? You know Ms. G. goes mental over smoking, doncha? Sure Mikey just forgot about that little personal no-nic rule, doncha agree?

Garner's reaction? "Smoldering," sniffs a prime Alias source.

Well, that makes two sides that aren't exactly happy.

First, Camp Vartan would say only "absolutely untrue" to my scoop last week that M.V.'s being written out of Alias. Second, some Vartan chums have made it clear that he was quite loyal to Jen until a devilish dare-dude hit the scene, a dare-dude these campers find "distasteful. (Wonder who?) Third, certain know-it-alls have cryptically quipped, "When [Vartan's exit] turns out to be true, we don't want you blabbing you told us so!" Little ol' dishwater-blond-no-more me? Nah.

And, fourth, what in the world would the fabulous Kristin Veitch have to bitch about if not for her precious-perfect Alias world that I seem to be messing with? K.'s gotten too damn pretty lately; I think we need to put some worry lines on that puss--same thing Michael's doin' with those cigs!

Stay tuned for more burning 'n' bothered A-grade gab.

Stew of Hearts

Okay, just a little bit more on mush patrol. Remember when Gwyneth broke Brad's throbber? We've got a little of that desultory starry sitch repeating itself here, what with Mr. V. being more than a bit mopey. You see, Vartan--despite his resilient ways--"really did care for Jennifer," insists one of his close buds.

Another Vartan camper was more circumspect: "[Michael] takes himself, his pain and this fling way, way too seriously. He's a bit of a drama queen."

Damn, I thought only us real queens suffered from that overwrought disease. So relieved to hear the hets have it, too!"

1. my econs mcq got screwed up - as in, they haven't marked it yet or something, so i only get my marks for that back tomorrow. i'm predicting about 13 or 14. stupid mistakes, some of them. really pissifying.

2. math. need i say more? 39% just like vaish. i don't even understand why i screwed up so badly. i mean, yeah i left out a whole lot but atleast i thought some of the stuff i actually did, made sense. my math needs a major overhaul.

3. discovery that my sat 1 that i did all the way back last year, is no longer valid. thank you, US universities. just great. so now i have to do that again, on top of doing sat 2s. i have to re-register for sat2 as well, which is going to cost me about 30 USD. parents will not be pleased. so i'd better register and just do it (insert nike sign although the happy-ness of nike is incongruous here) and get it over with. and i have to do something about my A levels. maybe my mom's right when she says i have to start focusing on them right now. considering the way i've screwed this year up, i have a lot of work to do. i hope i get my lit S. i will be devastated if i don't.

4. worrying about the rest of the results.

5. my vcr isn't working and my mom wants to sleep early and the tv's outside her room so she won't let me watch america's next top model and threatens not to give me money tomorrow morning if i defy her and watch. and she's supposed to give me about a hundred bucks tomorrow. and even if i got someone else to tape it for me, i wuoldn't be able to watch it due to lack of vcr.

6. P-fucking-W.

7. i have a headache and i'm really sleepy. so i'm just going to have to forego the antm, i guess, and finish the damn pw and go to sleep.

8. fucking ohana. just got a message about my "rather empty" previous attendance, and therefore i am "urged" to attend some meeting at 5pm tomorrow when all i'll be wanting to do is come home and sleep or cry or meditate or something. and i have to buy the shirt, and i have to acquire hawaiian shirt/skirt/something. what kind of asshole says "we urge you to participate more actively". i know i'm being unfair here, but such nonsensical council nice-nice speech really gets on my nerves, especially when my nerves are this trampled upon. i can feel my eyebags hardening into stone. i can literally feel them getting heavier. it is not nice.

9. fucking j2s haven't handed up their cip forms. i'm going to sms them to hand it up by wednesday or they don't get their hours.

i am going to do this pw bullshit until 11, then go to sleep and attempt waking up at 630 to finish it. i hope whoever invented pw dies a slow horrible painful death. if i ever find out his/her identity, i will be needing some voodoo classes.

ooooh Aparna and Her Rants are back in action! full force. can you believe i actually feel depressed over the ending of pearl harbour. it's always the nice guy who dies, leaving us with the annoying prick. seriously, josh hartnett is so much hotter. and ben affleck is such a shit. and the unhappy ending has become trite. especially when the hot, nice wonderful guy does some weird heroics and dies in action. it's like loc kargil and saif all over again. and haha i feel gleeful that jen garner who was the little unimportant nurse with the geeky glasses and the cute curls is now a way bigger star than all the other people in that stupid movie. she did have some echo-ey line that went "i don't know what to do-o-o-o" when all the casualties of pearl harbour were trying to rush into the one hospital , though. well, now she's dating ben affleck which is gross. but how romantic, their first film together was a large flop in which she was little more than an extra and he was the hero. and his films continued flopping, while her star's on the rise faster than his fighter jet. ooh hello who's the screaming jengarner fangirl.

i feel mildly better now after the pearlharbour rantiness. although i still have the twisty feeling in my tummy from when bad things are happening. like the returning of more papers tomorrow. and all this sat shit and how my math is so fucking bad and everything. i hope there is hope for me. p-doubleabsofuckinglute-ewww now.

EDIT: i just made a decision that felt good. i pulled out of ohana. have messaged woochiao, as well as kayhwee in case i was still supposed to be doing the crazy ohana dance with him. told him to take heart in that i hadn't learnt the dance anyway. i hope they don't get too mad at me for pulling out - although i haven't contributed anything to it so far so my pulling out ain't gonna affect it too much. i feel rather liberated now. it's not like ohana was going to add a whole lot of credit to my resume. i need to prioritise now anyway. and all the drama stuff i planned to do next year as well - need to figure some things out. i guess my life's gone a bit off track. my dad said something sensible today, that if it's better to aim for a third-rate university and possibly make it to a first-rate instead, but if i'm aiming for the ivies then i need to work like i'm aiming for the ivies. and the ivies i've been aiming for, but i've never worked hard enough for it. so i guess aparna needs to knuckle down to some solid work. so pfantastic-w now. i can't believe this crap is examinable. next we have to come up with some rubbish oral presentation. it's sickening.

chit - you going to the temple repeatedly? i am impressed. i went to the temple today and almost died of heatstroke/aching feet/hunger. and come over anytime, just let me know. navratri not really an impediment for me, except friday cos my mom's got her navratri bash on that day.

actually i do have other impediments - eventually i will actually have to do something for openhouse, and i have a long to-do list that isn't necessarily all fun things like thons. and i'm being forced to leave for india in three weeks even though school ends five days later. i need to find some crucial reason to attend those last days of school, because i walked into the trap of "if you can skip school all the time when it's convenient for you why can't you skip 4 days for this" by skipping school repeatedly when i felt like it.

and i have pwwww. was supposed to redo second draft over the weekend, but haven't touched it so i'll do it in school tomorrow. i don't know why i'm up so late now. actually i do. i was clearing up my room. the stacks of notes all around, and the dust because my maid is even worse than merely ineffectual. she does the stupidest things. today when we came home my mom got so mad because she put the bedsheet that was supposed to be put on the guestroom bed, under the mattress, and used some other ugly sheet to cover the mattress. i have no idea where she got that idea from. i mean, the ugly sheet wasn't even mentioned by my mom at all. in fact i've never seen that sheet used anywhere at all. anyway so i was clearing my room, and burning stuff to cds off my hard drive to clear it up a little as well. i've burned half my gg season 4 onto a dvd-r. and i've burned the good movies i had on my computer, like dps and dogma and high fidelity and legally blonde and run lola run and stuff. and i burnt some qaf. i have a huge qaf collection which i'll just burn and keep or sell or give away or something unless my interest gets rekindled, which it might because i watched some bits of it and slightly fell in love with brian all over again. especially brian with gus. and justin is cute.

this morning i was dragged out of bed before 10 o'clock, because we had to go to the temple for some navratri-related puja. and for some reason, my brother who was spending the night at his friend's place, managed to get out of going, because this other kid's come from india and staying with my brother's friend and the three of them were going to snowcity. apparently when my mom called to ask if my brother would go with us to the temple all my brother said was "but zain's here!" and my mom gave in. i wonder if my brother's just going to live at the other house from now on. he's always there. or the friend's always here. it's minty's brother, for those of you who'd know. he and my brother are inseperable. cute, really.

so. the puja. we got there at 11, and my dad was pissy because i took my usual long time to bathe and get ready and stuff and he was sure taht by the time we got there it'd be over. (which i guiltily admit was partially my intention in taking so long getting ready). but guess what? the puja actually lasted until 2pm. the best laid plans... and it was fucking hot and i was so hungry because all i had for breakfast was a piece of soggy bruschetta because my maid in her infamous efficiency heated it up right when i'd gone in to bathe, so i ate it 45 minutes later when it didn't taste so good and therefore i didn't eat most of it and therefore i was hungry soon after, and had to wait till after 2 to queue up at the temple and eat. and during the puja i was smsing and i got a couple of phone calls and my dad kept glaring at me and telling me to focus on a puja that i understood nothing of. and, seriously, my mother was social-butterflying as usual and he was telling me? ok the image of my mother and a butterfly do not go. and, anyway, i wasn't really pissed off with my dad, he just believes that i should get a little more spiritual and less materialistic or something, in less cheesy new-age terminology. gah i don't seem to make a lot of sense. but actually i like going to the temple, mostly. well, sometimes. it's nice and quiet and .. spiritual. like churches.

after that, being in close proximity to serangoon, of course the parental units couldn't give up a chance to shop for vegetables, or rather my mom couldn't give up the chance and she successfully put my dad in a bad mood because he hates mustafa, and he hates any serangoon-related place on sunday, so he got really pissed off at having to shop there, then. and we finally got home at almost 4. and an hour later i went with my mom to look at the exhibition clothes, and help put the clothes racks together, and then went back home, my mom left for her navratri rounds only, unusually, this time my dad accompanied her. i guess one of the places must've included dinner. i had fettucine arrabiatta and pizza for dinner, which made me feel fat. and this time my brother, cocoa and zain are spending the night at my place because the clothes thing is at cocoa's house tomorrow and my house has the less destructible doll display, so lesser of two evils is to have them stay here so here they are staying. evidently my brother has no school tomorrow. i wish i didn't either. then i would feel less horrible about being up so late tonight, and less worried about falling asleep in school but i'm terribly unsleepy right now. and tomorrow apparently we're getting math back. eek.

oh i watched half of pearl harbour today! josh hartnett's hot! he got less hot after that movie though. and seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. actually no he hasn't.. he just did wicker park. but he seems to have bad luck with movies. pearl harbour, 40 days 40 nights, wicker park. ouch.

oh guess what! i found my little purple stapler that's been missing for months! it was inside a cd rack, behind a cd. i have no idea how it got there. but there are some merits to clearing one's room. it's nice to find long-lost things. and it was a loved thing, too. so even nicer.

i should go sleep now. i finally feel sleep tugging at my eyes.

good day, today.

dance in the morning - an hour was spent languishing around the school because there was no music, but did get the costumes from the archives room and dumped them in the rp store behind lt1. after that, dance itself, which was good. i think the syf piece will be nice. music is definitely good.

after dance rushed home to change and ended up being rather un-dressed up but i didn't really have time to think up a nice dressed-up thing for a student matinee show so i just didn't really bother in the end, although i wore my nice colourful stones jewelry which mel admired =) was too late to do eyebrows by the time i picked up vaish and soph so soph decided not to come with us, vaish and i reached raffles hotel an hour early and walked around the place admiring the smell of money. walked past the tiffin room, smelled the fantastic food and remembered how good the buffet is - wondering if i can get my dad to go there for lunch tomorrow, but i think they're going out for some thing which i probably won't want to go for. but my mom's friend's arrived from delhi today, and tomorrow i'll go with my mom to go see the clothes, yay! i have told my mom, however, that i have too many indian clothes that i don't really wear so i want to go orchard shopping, and it's entirely justified because the stuff i want is as pricey as the indian clothes that she's somehow more willing to buy for me.

the play was good, although it doesn't really compare to the movie. and i'm not getting enough sleep even though promos are over, because i found some parts of the play quite soporific, and my eyelids were drooping. but i think i just kept comparing that guy to colin firth, and his pants were a bit too short for him and he looked slightly lopsided overall. but i liked the gwendolyn very much, and cecily reminded me of some actress.. charlize theron? i'm not sure.

after that, went with mel to meet soph at serangoon to do eyebrows, but once again it was not fated because the place was closed since it was past 6. i thought they were open till 8, but turns out that's only on weekdays. so we're going to go on monday, probably. i also need to visit topshop sometime. i need to go window-shopping properly so i can figure out what to make my mom buy for me. because going shopping with her isn't a very leisurely activity, she gets tired of it after a while, unless she's shopping for jewelry. figures. so i basically need to know what i want, before dragging her off.

so went back to ps, met thong, had dinner (al funghi the second day in a row, bad for me. and spinach tortellini which i used to love but today wasn't so good. i think i just wasn't very hungry). and then ballet under the stars with mel, soph and thong. we were a little late, but the ticket woman was real nice and gave us a discounted ticket, and then we went down and moved around about 3 times before finding a nice spot. the first dance was really cool and the women's costumes were gorgeously colourful, the second dance was more traditional ballet and it was beautiful, especially with the very sort of silent music - just a piano, i don't think it was even chords, just single notes, and a soft violin. it was about a woman dying. it was really nice. and at the end these white things fell from the ceiling, sort of like snow i think. i'm not sure what that was supposed to mean, but it looked very pretty. the last dance i didn't like. the music was this weird screechy indonesian thing, and the dance wasn't ballet but all this insane animalistic movement. it was supposed to be about alienation in modern society or something trite like that, and it seems that whenever people want to comment on alienation or modern society they become atavistic and move around like primal beings. and, god the MUSIC. i kept having to cover my ears because there were bits when the "singers" just started SCREECHING. it was awful. although the drumbeats were cool and some parts of that dance were interesting.

ok lack of sleep catching up with me. i'm feeling incredibly dizzy. night.

bao: the disney thing is really value for money! and i love the early disney songs. and if it were me, i'd have downloaded wicker park rather than bought it for 45 bucks, especially since i have half the songs on other cds anyway. it's a great soundtrack, but as wiggy says the order is a bit weird and you should only buy soundtracks of shows that you -like- otherwise you should download the music, and by all accounts wicker park was a bad film, so i think it was a good trade. and yes, condescending. :(

who wants to go for ballet under the stars tomorrow? thong and i are going, vivien and ian are maybe joining us.

today was a good day, although i was very tired. cos yesterday i actually ended up sleeping at about 2 cos i was reading fanfic and then i attempted to continue reading the templar revelation but i can't even remember what i read earlier so i think i'm gonna have to start over or something. and it's been ages since i read something recreational so somehow i feel too tired to. and i woke up at 9 because i had to go to orchard to meet shirin and kel for 2046.

ended up rushing off without breakfast, and for my very brief and detail-less 2046 go to 13a blog. basically i kept falling asleep, but partly because after so long i got a chance to have a nice long sleep and i only slept about 7 hours so i was still catching up on the sleep. and i wore my contact lenses today after a really long time, so that could also be it. although my eyes themselves felt fine.

then rushed a pasta and a mrs fields cookie (can't go to ps without visiting mrs fields), and cabbed back to school for rp exco meeting. fairly productive. can't say the same for the gm. very poor attendance. as expected, really.

boring ccal meeting. b.o.r.i.n.g. but kelly and claud and yiting for company. after that 13a people guiltlessly ponned and went to my house for a little bit of gg, followed by the commencing of the alias thon! and i am proud to say: they are HOOKED. and think that jen garner's hot/gorgeous/beautiful. can we say amazing? i am vindicated. yayyyyyyyyy can't wait for the rest of the thon(s). i can't wait for the alias thon to reach season 2, because when daph was watching alias we didn't manage to reach season 2 before she left, so i haven't watched season 2 in ages. and i'm only watched season 3 once, so i need to rewatch and discuss. and the class is great for the crazy discussions, so yay! it's so cool that the last few people i've introduced to alias have all loved it. my room is conducive to the alias-loving, i suppose :) daph was also initiated in the cult of alias right before this very computer. oh i love my computer.

then they all abandoned me, and i showered and dinnered and sat myself back down in front of the computer. tomorrow's a long day. i will try and sleep early tonight. i think i'll watch an ep of buffy before that. yayyy.

my gg works! i don't know why, or how, but after a while there was video, only it was lagging behind the sound, and then after i rebooted the video and sound work perfectly, in good old (new actually) high def tv.

so i will give you a proper account of my day. not really much to say, but since it's finally a happy day.

history was .. history so we shall ignore that for the purposes of this discussion. also leaving out the chronology of the gg fiasco because that wasn't happy.

then i went home, ostensibly to sleep, but i didn't really end up sleeping much. lazed around, ate a long leisurely lunch with my parents, then watched a bit of tv before my dad gave me a ride to orchard.

walked through taka to kino where the rest of them were, and on the way spotted atleast 3 woman carrying hermes birkins. those are $10,000 bags, people. wow. saw a really spunky kate spade handbag, some fairly nice ballys, celine's got really large bags, dior is dior, louis vuitton's got a new design, flower jewellery's got really fantastic stuff, cartier is big and boring, taka is for the rich.

kino - whole bunch of people holed up in the literature area: claud, kelly, shoojee, wiggy, vaish, thong, ian, daniel. and there was a hwachong bunch there too - saw nurul after a really long time. she was the first of two hugs today, from people i hardly ever see. the second was a very rushed one much later when i was rushing to where my dad was waiting near cine, and i ran into a friend of mine whose mom is my mom's friend but we never see each other because she's in uwc and i'm in rjc and both of us hate the parties our parents go for so we never go and we never really end up meeting except on the very odd occasion. but that was terribly rushed. still, hugs are hugs are nice.

i developed a strange gastric in kino. i think it's due to lack of sleep. my body's been getting real screwed up. i told vaish that i was hungry all the way up to my heart, which sounds funny, but really - gastric goes all the way up your chest and it's so irritating. after freeing ourselves of the perpetual trap that is kino, thong vaish and i went to wisma so i could get my prata wrap. on the way of course got sidetracked by fcuk, which has a gorgeous pale blue cord blazer for 160. it's beauuuutiful. maybe i can talk my mom into it.

amazingly, ran into nasty shirin becky blee at coffee club express. got a broccoli soup (broccoli but it tastes really good and i like broccoli anyway) and my usual prata wrap, ate it in record time of 10 minutes and rushedd to lido for the movie, which was ultimately attended only by vivien, claud, wiggy and me. and the movie was really good fun, and there are these semi-scary bits where vivien was clinging on to my arm for dear life and man does she cling hard. she's got strong hands, that girl. anyway the movie was cool and funny and sweet and gwyneth's paltrow's hair doesn't move even in a fighter jet, and jude law's amazing and i loved the way the whole movie was shot in a mixture of dark comic book style and 1940s-detective film style. it's sort of batmanish. i'm not really a comic book expert like seth cohen, so i'm not sure how to describe the style, but it was really cool.

afterwards, went to hmv because vivien wanted to return the wicker park soundtrack that she bought for 45 bucks. i don't know why it was 45 bucks. so she exchanged it, and part of the exchange is the disney double-cd thing that i'm buying which she will pass to me tomorrow. it's got all the best disney songs. i love disney songs. then my dad called that he was waiting for me near cine, so i rushed off to find him. and then i got home, ate dinner, watched tv for a while, listened to a half hour's worth of my brother's jokes - they were quite funny, and then watched gg, and unguiltily talked on msn, and now i'm sleepy so i'm going to end an academically unproductive day with sleep before 1am. actually there was the 3 hours of history academic productivity, but we're ignoring that.

so byeee. my life is back!

oh my GOD i am so DEPRESSED.

(ok exams are over and yayy and now i can -guiltlessly- waste my time as opposed to guiltily wasting my time and sky captain was greating and hanging around orchard was great and the broccoli soup and prata wrap at coffee club express were delish, i love that stuff) but i am DEPRESSED.

you know why? first, right after history - which was such a drag - i came home all excited to watch gg, and guess what? the same problem as jack&bobby! the video doesn't work. all my other videos work, it works on vivien's computer, it just doesn't work on mine. and then when vivien came to orchard she brought me a burnt copy of her thing, and i tried it just now and it also DOES NOT WORK. this is GG. my LIFE. my LIFELOVEOXYGEN. and, really, if it's going to affect all the stuff i dl from bittorrent, it will kill me. i need to figure out what happened!!! :( it obviously isn't a problem with the download since vivien's cd played in the exact same way, so what changed in my windows media player between last week and this week? and it's not like it's affecting all the videos on my computer; it's just these last two. i'm currently dling Lost and the vcdffn version of gg, see if this works. i'm really pissed off.

anyway - computer experts out there, can you offer any suggestions? maybe tomorrow i'll ask claud if she can come over and have a look. for now, i will hope that my brother lets me borrow his computer for a while.

ETA: it doesn't work on my brother's computer either! in fact, vivien had burnt 503 on the cd as well and that worked on my computer but when i tried that on his computer it didn't work either. this is really really strange. and when i let him use my computer in exchange for using his, i closed my Lost and GG downloads and just now belatedly realised that the website's not working so i can't resume. i guess i'll have to try supernova. but i will assume that the website's down for servicing or something, and that they're trying to solve the problem with the downloads. maybe there's a codec problem because my brother's computer said error finding codec and then it moved on to play only sound. only my computer plays a green screen whereas his goes straight to visualisation ie as though it's really a sound clip. oh my god i feel miserable. i hope this gets better. and if i find some codec thing, might that help? this is beyond horrible.

EDIT AGAIN on the gg situation: now the video plays, but it's lagging behind the sound. help.

gahhhhhhhh i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaateeeeeee studying historyyyyyyy. in fact i haaaaaaaaate studying stat.

and i feel all nauseous and worried cos i have SO MUCH history left to study and i know i'm never going to finish tonight, but i can't just give up because going into an exam and having nothing to write is my biggest fear in the world. but i came home at 445 and fell asleep for an hour, and then my mother was fussing about being late for the importance of being earnest cos my dad was late from his lee kuan yew talk because after that he went to drop his colleague off somewhere and therefore i was forced to keep smsing my dad to hurry him up. whatever man. i have no idea why my dad was talking to lee kuan yew, but he was rather excited about it yesterday. must ask him about it when he comes back home. my parents waste my time extremely. anyway i think they ended up being about a half hour late for the play. maybe since it was a private thingy they were allowed in late, but seriously. how mortifyingly embarrassing. thank god i wasn't going with them.

all of rj except arts are done with exams, all the other jcs seem to be done, my brother's exams are over and he's sleeping over at his friend's. so i'm the only pathetic being stuck at home alone with my maid, studying my retarded ass off. hm if only ass-fat could be studied off. i'd probably study more.

ok i don't even feel like blogging. i just feel like feeling like i'm not obliged to DO something horrible such as study. i wish i could just stare into space and not feel guilty. oh but things to look forward to: i'm going for sky captain tomorrow! yay that's one movie down. and my mom says she'll go with me for vanity fair, so that's another one down for free! only problem is she says her social calendar is chock-full this week and the next due to navratri, although really when is she not at some party or coffee morning or lunch or bridge party? she's like emily gilmore, except she gives p6 tuition in her free time. anyway maybe on monday the class can go for 2046. i really want to see that. but then there's all this openhouse shit and i'm already skipping saturday. or! maybe friday morning since shirin wants the exco meeting at 1pm. maybe i can make her go with me, with the promise of some shopping along with. by the way, there is an rp gm at 3 o'clock on friday. check the rp board on friday for the venue, because mrs perry forgot to book an lt today so she'll only be doing it tomorrow.

so now i'm done planning my social life for the coming days. not really actually. i have to figure out who to go for ballet under the stars with. and all those other movies that i want to see. a couple of those aren't releasing yet though. de-lovely doesn't even seem to be coming this month, atleast not according to the gv website. ugh historyyyyy. save me. to quote gg which is downloading now :), kill me now.

oh anyone want to buy indian clothes? my mom's friend from delhi's coming on monday with a fashion exhibition. or maybe sunday, but the exhibition/sale's on monday i think. is monday the 18th? if it is, the thing's on monday. it's at minty's house because my house has a prettyprettypretty doll display in it for navratri (navratri is this indian festival where all the ladies go to each others houses and get haldi kumkum - possibly the hindu equivalent of frankincense and myrrh and if by equating them i commit some great blasphemy then forgive me, god, and i hope the lightning bar or whatever it is that protects my house from lightning is working - and usually some other little trinket, like this year my mom's giving out this porcelain cup thing. (actually frankincense and myrrh are more expensive i think, but basically haldi and kumkum are.. holy substances. help me out here, fellow hindus.) and some houses also have a huge display of dolls called a golu, and our house does every year. i'm getting a weird deja vu feeling like i've blogged about this before. have i? anyway navratri's fun. and it starts friday and my mom wants me to go with her to all the houses she's going to but actually i don't really love going around to random women's houses and having them coo about how well i'm certain to have done in my exams when the truth is so much to the contrary. so i'm going to be good and use farewell assembly as an excuse to beg out of the social visits.

anyway i started somewhere else. fashion exhibition. should be good. though i've never seen this particular person's designs before. although the woman herself is quite tall and gorgeousish, so she ought to have good taste and therefore good ideas right? so if you're interested, tell me. but uh i presume prices start at about a 100 bucks or thereabouts, so bewarned. there's likely to be free food though, as there usually is at these things. i think singapore's a nice sort of fashion place. cos you get western designs, although it sadly lacks proximity to western couture but then people who can afford couture can certainly afford a plane ride to paris/milan/london/new york. one day i will buy a dress from yves saint laurent rive gauche. although the lack of tom ford is a bummer. wonder what's going to happen to gucci. and a dress from alexander mcqueen. not the gross huge loud ones though. the beautiful ones like the flowers one he made for naomi campbell. i should just aspire to be anna wintour, only nicer and less severe-looking. and, really, less ugly. how on earth a woman like that ended up heading american vogue i will never understand. but then most of the women who actually buy couture are ugly rich bitches. all the beautiful hollywood stars are basically like models, because the designers just lend them the clothes to parade on red carpets instead of runways.

oh my god my digression is wonderful. so you can get a lot of western fashion here, and it's also close to india so you can get beautiful indian clothes and there are so many indian expats in singapore that designers are constantly coming here as well so you can get the really -nice- clothes. and there's mumbai se as well, which i have to go have a look at. i really have one long trip to palais renaissance coming up. mumbai se and the designer jeans store that i've forgotten the name of. it's a word, not a name. habitat? no that's the london place. paradise? one of those kinda words. gah if only they had abercrombie here, there'd be -affordable- nice clothes.

um ok now i'm just going to stop tying and go.

AHHHH i can't get over the wonderfulness of the waltz at the wedding. (yeah, i'm talking about lorelai and luke again).

I had Sam Phillips playing again this morning and then when Reflecting Light came on I -had- to go watch that scene again, so I watched that then I rewatched the flirting then I watched the dance again, and seriously there is no end to how HAPPY that scene makes me. Not even the flirting compares, and the flirting was some seriously happiness-inducing stuff!

The dance is just... beautiful. I think it's the beautiful music combined with the obvious chemistry of those two, and the close-up camera and the way they're so happy, and Luke's such a sexy dancer, and he wears a suit so well, and Lorelai is of course gorgeous. And it's SLOW. That's the thing about it. It's just... you can just watch them forever. I have no words for how beautiful it is, but seriously. It makes me smile so hard I could cry. I'm such an emotional freak when it comes to tv, sometimes i wonder if i live my own life this heartfeltly.

i think, even if the post-confirming-of-relationship luke/lorelai doesn't satisfy me, i can just keep rewatching this scene and i'll be happy. it's better than any of the other scenes.

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH CHIT! Remember the wedding songs thing (yeah we're very sad people and a couple of years ago we were thinking about the non-sappy love songs we'd want playing at our weddings) and i HAVE to have Reflecting Light. ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY for the first dance. actually if i end up having an indian wedding like my parents will want me to, there may be no dance-y stuff, or rather, they look down on all the 'stupid dancing' as the influence of american culture because apparently all indian weddings in the US have sappy speeches and best men and dancing although none of those are traditional indian-wedding staples. but when i went for a wedding in new york a few years ago there were speeches and stuff but no dancing. and haha, my uncle bet me a shopping trip that there would be dancing. i won, and that got me a pair of jeans and 2 tops =] same uncle who's been owing me 4 sets of dvds for 8 months but he's my favourite uncle. anyway. i want dancing at my wedding cos dancing is nice especially if i marry a really hot guy who can waltz and wear a suit as well as luke does. (not if, of course i will!) oooh my gawd. now i'm listening to reflecting light on repeat. i hope i don't get sick of it.

god i LOVE sam phillips. she's soundtracked so many of the wonderfullest gg moments.

blah blah blah.

i want sicily by dolce & gabbana - new fragrance, very nice, uncharacteristically subtle.

i want to watch 2046. wong kar wai sounds very interesting. i'm really getting into this chinese movie thing. first it was the flying daggers guy whose name i've forgotten, now this guy.

which reminds me:

i want to find a copy of Hero that has -subtitles-.

i want to watch ballet under the stars. i'm planning on going friday night, who wants to go with me? i think it means skipping some or all of farewell assembly, but i for one don't really care, although saturday evening's also a viable option if farewell assembly's hard to get out of which i suspect it might be as with most school matters.

i want to watch.. vanity fair, de-lovely, spybound, immortal, maria full of grace, the forgotten, sky captain & the world of tomorrow, the motorcycle diaries, and wimbledon (not as much as the others, though).

i want my parents to take me for some of those movies so i won't go flat broke.

i want new music.

i want to buy an ipod.

i want to buy a pair of 300 dollar jeans. i have recently discovered that there's a store at palais renaissance which sells Seven, Earl, Cloth Paper Denim etc. i want to go have a look sometime, and then convince my mother that i -need- a pair. (aparna starts praying fervently that the gods look kindly upon her.) although i'm thinking maybe i should work out some more and develop an ass worthy of those jeans before buying a pair. an ass worthy of those jeans. huh.

i want a lorelai ass. and "those jeans" that were really workin' for her and for Luke were Seven jeans.

i want new clothes. mainly tops. and a new skirt.

i want a new pair of heels. something colourful.

i want to go shopping with my mother.

i want my dvds.

i want my whole bunch of marathons.

i want my halloween bash to be really good.

i want these freaking exams to be over.

i want to pass math, please.

i want my lit S.

that's about all, for my list of waaants.

i've taken a deep breath and decided to stop watching jack & bobby, despite the extreme hotness that is jack. gah my blog doesn't highlight/underline links, so click on the word jack to see jack. oh no that picture's making me want to watch again. damnit. anyway, reason: it's a bit of an irritating show, not good enough for me to risk being arrested for downloading or whatever. if and when it comes to tv here i'll probably watch it. plus the latest episode that i downloaded, refuses to play video. it's just a green screen and audio. and i tried playing it on divx and it was supremely jerky. and then it led to a series of events that ended up in me no longer having divx player, something that does NOT make me happy. anyway, this cuts down the list of current shows to 4 - GG, Lost, Alias, The OC. Although shows with DVDs to acquire is 5 due to the Buffy.

Oh that reminds me, I think I pulled off something fairly ingenious yesterday. Remember my uncle who owes me a whole bunch of DVDs? Well it gets fairly pathetic when you're begging him every time you communicate with him, to give you your dvds, and obviously he's busy and everything. Plus my parents told me to stop bugging him, but a girl wants her DVDs right? Although my dad would've bought them for me.

So uncle dearest emailed me about something yesterday, and at the end of my reply, I said something like "Have you bought my dvds yet? Because if you haven't, Dad's going to the US soon and I was thinking I could just get him to buy them instead. Of course, if you have already bought them you could send them to Radhika's (my dad's cousin in California) place and he'll pick it up from her." And of course it's the regular old Guilt Trip, because my uncle obviously won't want me to feel like he isn't buying me the dvds after all and like I can't count on him and everything, so he immediately mailed me back that he'd send them to Radhika. Yay. So now I can have those DVDs AND more DVDs that I will make my dad buy for me.

Only shittiness is, my dad gets back from California on the 7th of November and I'm leaving for India on the 8th, because my mother wants a huge family reunion in Bangalore for Deepavali. In fact, just yesterday after Lit she called me up and tried to convince me that I had to leave on the 5th, and I refused partly due to PW being at that time, and partly due to 3 days less of boredom is 3 days less of boredom. If she can't get me a ticket on the 8th she can buy me one on Raffles Class or something. I don't care. And spending 5 weeks in India does NOT make me happy, because I will effectively be without DVD player and fast internet connection for more than a month. And my poor dvds will be sitting here WAITING for me. And no, i will NOT lend them out while i'm in another country dvd-less. I might just take them with me and hug them to sleep at night. Ok actually that's ridiculous, but right now possessive me says I won't lend my dvds out until I'm done with them. Pity I won't have them in time for the marathons next week etc. Here's wishing that I do actually get all the DVDs in the end. My dad -can- be unreliable, and my uncle: who knows, he might forget again. Although last year he did send my Alias set to Radhika which is why i'm counting on this working. My dad should travel to the US more. Don't know why there was so little of it this year. And Í can't believe I didn't make my mom buy a couple of DVD sets when she was shopping her ass off in San Francisco this April.

I have a disgusting ability to write paragraphs and paragraphs on the most inconsequential of issues (well ok they're not inconsequential to ME but definitely trivial in the grand scheme of things that include life, love, death and promotional exams.) ooooh nice phrase, 'life, love, death and promotional exams.'

Anyway, to things of greater consequence: I have thought up a couple of scenes to put in my all-time favourite Javajunkie list.

1. the dance at the end of Last Week Fights, This Week Tights. It puts a HUGE grin on my face, even huger than the grin on Lorelai's face. And the Lorelai-Lukeness in that episode is much better than in Written in the Stars. It's so incredibly sweet and sweeeeeeeeeet. That dance was a much better sort-of culmination of their relationship than the sex, IMO. Although Luke without a shirt is undoubtedly even hotter than Luke in a suit. HAHA. Oooh Luke-arms!

(However, the post-coital does not rank on this list because it made me pissed off about the lack of the pre-. As someone on TWoP said, how'd they get into bed? Did Lorelai say something sly about being "all in"? Did they finish eating or just run off and do the deed? Did they talk before doing it? I want to know, damnit! This is what we've been waiting for for more than FOUR YEARS, and the first damn conversation in the entire series was between these two. Can we have them talk a bit more? Serious, real talk. And some making out would be good too. Because the LL chemistry is fascinating and they could do SO MUCH with it and as Vaish pointed out Lorelai kissed hairy-chested MAX MEDINA more than she did Luke. And really, much as I hated the gross pink nipples on that guy, their post-coital was really much more heartfelt than -this-. Sorry, after reading Pamie's recap I'm thoroughly disgruntled with the handling of the Javajunkie. Get a grip, Palladinos!)

2. The flirting scene in Written in the Stars. "And tonight, I will give you my extremely positive views on other aspects of your being". And the way he drawls the "being" is sooooo sexy. Oh god I'm going to drool again. Or swoon. And Lorelai's "yeah!?"... "finally. Do it some more" is adorable! And her ASS. My god. Really. Those jeans really really were workin' for her.

3. The first KISS in Raincoats and Recipes. I rewatched it three times today, along with my gazillionth rewatching of the flirting scene. I have to go rent Some Kind of Wonderful now, to watch the date that became the longest joke in GG history. Oh the Lorelai falling all over the table at the beginning comes pretty close, but not big enough scene to rate a place on the list. I like how Luke just calmly said "I'll get a broom" though. Atleast he knows his Lorelai.

4. Wayy back in That Damn Donna Reed, the almost-kiss behind the counter in Luke's. The sacred Other Side of the counter. And the almost-kiss!

Ok, not really a couple, but let's pretend it's a couple in the American defition of the word. As in, a few. And there are more. And before I start listing every Luke Lorelai scene ever made, I will go off. HAHA "If I Could Write" just started playing on my windows media player. For all ignorant people, that's the Sam Phillips song at the end of the GG season 5 premiere and it's brilliant. Sam Phillips also sang "Reflecting Light" which is the soundtrack to no 1 there on my Javajunkie all-time favourites list.

Have I mentioned that I HATE fielding phone calls while my mother's out. That lady's got a lot of calls to return when she comes back. I've answered the phone about 5 times in the last ten minutes. All calls for her. Geez. Leaving now, leaving now!

ok forget about blogging ban. i'm just going to blog less. i think.

í shall for the first time in my life, answer tags in a blog, because i'm too lazy to tag.

vaish - i don't really think logan is really very brains-hot. his arguments were somewhat specious. but he's hot in a cute way. uh. figure that out yourself.

bern - logan's rory's new love interest, if/when she finally stops sleeping with dean the scruffy-faced idiothead. and he's hotcute, if arrogant. and when'd i say anything about f--king a brain? haha i just did the dashdash self-censorship thing! no really i was just copying you. since you said f--k. yes, whatever. and your science people are seriously saddd. who can not know what halloween is!?!?!? it's like the funnest thing ever! and you must come for MY party because it's going to be everyone'sinvitedish i think, but nothing's settled yet really, so don't mark it on your social calendars just yet. after my freaking exams are over and done with i will organise that.

in other news, i am exhausted and lit text was not too bad, only i didn't finish my silas marner essay due to spending too long on a&c. shitty. and i should seriously stop talking to jireh about anything exam-related because all i get is an inferiority complex and a really small feeling. he of the perpetual 4As and i bet 2Ds even though he insists that he's getting a U for lit S. gah. it's like kelly saying that her lit essay's shit or something, cos she still gets As. (ok i'm not mad with them or hate them or anything, i'm just. jealous, i guess.) i feel frustrated. and my inflated sense of self tells me that if i studied a bit harder (or a lot harder) i could be as good as any of them, or some of them, although as purvis says for lit to a large degree it's you've got it or you've not. but atleast for math, it's true: it's a free A if you just study. and even econs. geez i annoy myself so much sometimes. and i am so not proud of the fact that i'm this proficient in the art of distracting myself. ok this is pointless and stupid and i should go now and study instead because that's the point of this entire rant, so i'm just going to go now and study. byee.