hello!

long time.. but i don't know what to blog. i haven't been doing anything at all. basically bumming around a lot, getting really bored and really peeved by numerous things.

like last week we all wanted to go out for dinner, and my grandfather came up with some shit that his 70th birthday resolution was to eat only at home and at restaurants that are purely vegetarian. as in, don't even serve non-veg. that basically rules out ALL the restaurants at the fancy hotels, and almost every other restaurant except really shitty places. then my dad looked through the bangalore city guide, and googled, and found one place which was fairly nice and we went there and fortunately the food was good and it wasn't out of those shitty places. but basically if i want to try the place at leela palace, it'll just have to be my mom and brother or something. unless my dad's cousin returns from his business trip and decides to take us out. anyway my daddy's gone back, and tomorrow he's going for his private screening of shark tale because they used hp technology to make the movie, and he heads the division in charge of it or something like that. i just realised that last year there was a thing for charlie;s angels two - but it's not an animated film so it doesn't make sense. maybe for the special effects or something. hmm. anyway, i'm peeved cos i wanted to watch shark tale and it released the day before i left, and i watched princess diaries that day instead cos sophie doesn't like computer-animated films. which kinda rules out all new animated films. shark tale looked cute! the shark was vegetarian. i think my dad's got to make a little speech before the movie, so he'll probably use the shark being vegetarian thing, and how he's vegetarian as well or something. my dad makes good speeches. last time before ice age, he made a hilarious speech.

another peeve: the preoccupation of teenagers here with the opposite sex. the guys do nothign but ogle everything with breasts, or even if it's just female and flat it's ogleable. she's ogleable, i mean. and the girls bitch about the guys or tlak about their latest guys or whatever. they have plenty of guys/girls in their social circles so it can't be a deprived syndrome. it makes no sense. basically, the last few days i have realised i have really little to talk to them about. because i don't know most of the people they talk about. and they generally walk around with their eyes glued to their phones cos they're constantly messaging or on the phone - flirting, usually. and i just hang around and look bored and try not to run away too fast, and then they ask me why i look so bored and i'm just lost for words. frankly, freaky bangalore guy is the nicest to talk to. and i STILL haven't seen james again.

apparently james is from bahrain. it's so weird, there was this other reallly cute guy last time whose family lives in saudi arabia. he was christian too, but he had this weird name ajoy. very strange name. i sort of had a crush on him cos he was so cute and he's the sweetest guy of the whole lot, and according to freaky bangalore guy he wasn't sweet to everyone, and that therefore he liked me. but then he seemed to be nice to everyone. and anyway nothign materialised. plus like all the guys i've ever seriously liked, he was much older than me. and i haven't seen him around so far either. i feel starved for company. i miss everyone in singapore like HELL.

bahrain reminds me: my cousin was here for the past two days. he used ot live in bahrain too. hadn't seen him in a couple of years. he's about my brohter's age i think, and tons of fun. couple of nights ago he, my brother and i stayed up till almost 2am watching The Ring, really freaked ourselves out. and then last night my brother fell asleep but he and i stayed up and he told me bahraini ghost stories. apparently his house in bahrain had a ghost in the poolhouse. heh poolhouse.. reminds me of the oc. i miss ryan. he's so cute. and i've never visited any of my relatives while they lived in cool places. my grandparents have lived in albania (which is now some godforsaken european country racked by corruption or something) and bhutan (which is on a himalayan mountain). this cousin's lived in bahrain. my mom's cousin lives in dubai now, and he seems pretty settled there so i suppose at some point in my life i could actually go to a middle eastern country. and my mom lived in trinidad and tobago when she was... my age. and all i've done is live in singapore. booooring. story of my life.

i now have to go and watch koffee with karan. first ep, shah rukh and kajol!!!

ok so i typed a whole long post yesterday, but it didn't work but thankfully i saved it in a word doc as well because i've developed the habit due to irritating blogger servers everywhere. yes, blogger is damn slow and pissing off in all parts of the world. it didn't even work when i tried to access it somewhere in england. bath i think. but then that was the absolute depth of shitty computerdom. and internetdom. 50p for half an hour, and incredibly slow connection. my grandpa's slowness of internet comes pretty close though, although atleast i'm not paying 50p for half an hour.

anyhow the post from yesterday.

*

boredom has arrived.

well, for starters, happy diwali!
i'm getting sick of saying that actually. i've been saying it practically nonstop since yesterday. and my grandma's been sending me to various houses around here to give plates of sweets to the neighbours. and they invariably call me in and start talking about my clothes and school and exams and bullshit. and give me sweets. and i don't even like indian sweets. not most of them, anyway. and then yesterday we took a long drive down to almost the outskirts of bangalore to where my greatgrandma lives, to pay her a diwali visit. she's really quite a remarkable woman. she's like.. 87 or something, and she's completely lucid and actually very sharp and knows all sorts of stuff and has this amazing zest for life.

the day before yesterday, my dad was here so my mom found a new shopping companion (less willing than me, of course, but ever obliging) and an excuse to have me stay at home and 'study'. although all i really did was plug in the earphones and read a book. And when she went with my dad she guiltlessly bought jewelry. Which I didn’t like much anyway. And she was supposed to take me out after coming back, but she came back late and then my grandfather said the traffic would be bad so I transitted into bad mood mode and stormed away upstairs, plugged in the headphones again and did math!!! Haha it was quite… interesting. The fact that I decided to do math, not the math itself obviously considering that math is… math.

And I’m trying to see if I can change from bio SAT to history or something. I don’t know what on earth induced me to register for biology. It’s majorly boring and I’m just staring at the book and… staring and staring and staring and who the hell cares about differential interference-contrast microscopes??? I’d rather dig my nose or something. Really.

Incidentally – worm, I had to open the door for my dad cos everyone except my brother and me sleeps downstairs and my mother’s lazy anyway and my grandparents sleep early so it was my brother’s and my job to stay up to let him in when he arrived. Of course, my brother fell asleep. Anyway I didn’t mind since my dad arrived at about 1230 which is before my usual sleeping time in Singapore atleast. Although in India when you’re confined to the house after 10pm by grandfatherly decree, there’s nothing much to do but sleep or study or internet but then the computer’s near my grandparents’ bedroom and the keyboard is very noisy. So. Whatever, I don’t know why I’m devoting an entire paragraph to inconsequential stuff.

What else. I’ve been having weird dreams. I think I’m missing my class because I’ve had atleast two dreams involving the class. Two dreams in the last three days or so. And I can’t remember what I dreamt last night, so it could’ve been class stuff as well. Anyway, one dream was that in J2 I was going to be moved to another class for some strange reason and I was crying and crying and crying because I SO did not want to be moved. And another dream was a class outing and vaish was saying something stupid about tigers and everyone was laughing at her and generally the class outing was very enjoyable. We were walking around in some esplanadeish place. The area outside the esplanade. I think. Oh there was another dream about a romantic liaison between two members of our class. A very unlikely couple, actually. Very very unlikely. I have no idea why I dreamt of them being together. It’s not a couple that I’d ever have imagined. Which is possibly why, in the dream, I was rather upset? Or maybe just cos the girl half of the couple is someone who’s company I enjoy quite a lot and she was spending a lot of time with the guy half. Ask me and I’ll tell you which girl and which guy. It’s weird to reveal it on a blog. The thought of the dream still makes me feel mildly queasy. I think they were sleeping together or something. SO weird. Oh I woke up after that dream, and catalogued it in my memory, and then I went back to sleep and dreamt that I was talking to the girl about the coupledom, and she said she wasn’t actually with him and all this time she was with a J2. some guy I’d never heard of before. Damnnnnn weird.

Then there was yet another dream where I was at some place with kel and choon and vaish or something, and there was a fan blowing in my face and my contact lens got dry so I took it out. Then it flew away or something, and I caught it again. And for some reason it got stuck to a piece of tissue. And then I was trying to tear the tissue away and ended up tearing the lens and being very upset about it. And it was a damn huge contact lens by the way. Like, it was bigger than my hand. But it was a contact lens, and I the only thing I said about the size in the dream was “why on earth am I the only one with such a huge lens? They tear so easily” or something like that. And after that I went to a bookstore with Kelly so I could feel better, and I was thinking about ways to break the news of the torn contact lens to my mother, especially since it was brand new – it was the one I just collected before coming to India. But in the dream I wasn’t in India. I was in Singapore, I guess, although the places in the dream didn’t look familiar at all.

So. Real life. I just realized that I left my zero 7 cd behind in Singapore!!! Gah. But I’ve been listening to my delovely several times and loving it more and more, and I’ve got about 30 cds besides that. Some of which are mp3 cds. and sam phillips completely completely rocks. especially Reflecting Light and If I Could Write. can't get enough of those two songs.

Oh last night the Diwali celebrations were quite cool. well. different, anyway since it's the first time i've been in bangalore for diwali. all the kids here put up a show. the little girls did a bunch of dances, which was quite nice and there are some little girls who can really -dance-. and the boys did some skit which was completely shitty. and not just from a hoity-toity rp perspective. everyone thought it was hilariously bad, and all the actors kept talking when they went offstage, not realising that the mike picked everything up, including when one guy went off after a scene and said "yay, everyone laughed" which of course only made the audience laugh even more, although the initial laughter was more for how silly the play was than for any intended comedic effect. although it was a comedy.

oh i also met a really nice and also hot guy at the party. so starved for hot indian guys in singapore, who actually have interesting personalities to match. anyway. this guy has really nice hair, and is really really friendly and great to talk to, and funny and stuff. a friend of mine asked me why it matters that there aren't indian guys whom i find attractive, and why i can't date a chinese guy or something. i'm not sure why, but it's never really occurred to me as a viable possibility. and in any case, i can't think of any chinese guys i know whom i'd want to date anyway. that's pretty much what i told him, although i think he's still a bit perplexed. somehow the dating scene in bangalore is a lot less conservative than you'd expect for india. i guess, again, it's the rebellion thing. and anyway my friend's got a girlfriend for every week so his values are by default screwed. anyhow, i'm completely unattracted to anybody in the world at this moment. except saif ali khan and johnny depp. oh there's a really cute saif ad on tv, for lay's chips. it's got his dad in it too. and i found out today that my really hot 27-year-old second cousin in washington has a really pretty, rich and successful lawyer girlfriend whose entire family visited him while he was living with a tribe in Ecuador doing social work with the Peace Corps. how cool is that.

*

ok so that was yesterday. today.. it's 330 in the afternoon, and the india-pakistan ODI cricket match is going on so my grandparents, dad and brother are glued to the tv. i watched the first half hour and then bailed. i'll probably watch the last half hour later on, to will india to win or something. although considering the pathetic run rate that doesn't look likely. sachin tendulkar should be hung drawn and quartered. he was out before india'd made 29 runs. that's worse than pathetic, and it's been a long time since he's played really well. i think it's time for him to retire. atleast if he did now, he'd retain some of the great legacy instead of ruining it all. rahul dravid is hot.

besides that, nothing much to tell. my friend's calling me now so i have to go. she was at thirupati yesterday - this pilgrimage-ish mountain where people go and pray and often shave their heads, so i'm curious to see if she took me up on my dare that she shave her head and come back. ta!

i guess i'm not so bored after all. someone asked me yesterday, how i survive here with such limited computer access considering my constant internettishness in singapore. i think there's just a lot more to life in india.

heyy quick post:

india still fun so far, hopefully won't wear out soon. diwali looks like it'll be quite fun because finally i get to see one of these parties at the apartment my grandparents live in. there're lotsa kids here and they do a sort of show every year. my brother's taking part again, same as he did last year when he was here staying with the grandparents while i was back in singapore having my Os. if one takes O to mean the big O (as in orgasm, dumbo) then that sounds really bad. any reference to the Os sounds bad.

today i discovered an appreciation for cooked tomatos and cafe lattes. i'm finally enjoying coffee. took me long enough, but my mom's not happy because so far my non-enjoyment of coffee made her think i might be nice and healthy so now she's going to do all it takes to make sure i don't get addicted. ie no more 5-hour shopping trips punctuated by stopbys at barista/cafecoffeeday. (anyhow the diwali shopping's done so i predict less shopping in my future. atleast less generous mother although her own addiction to shopping means that the number of shopping trips are unlikely to decrease, but then again she might go alone and make me stay home and study =[) i like indian cafes. good food, good coffee, incredibly cheap. can you imagine a cup of good coffee that costs less than 2 dollars? besides coffee, i had a ton of rasam today because my grandma's just such a damn good cook. and lots of tomatoes. apparently cooked tomatoes are even healthier than raw ones.

about diwali shopping: i have a beauutiful long flowy crinkled silk skirt and a really nice orange and pink halter, as well as a deep pink sequinned chiffon stole to go with it. unfortunately my grandfather's and other relatives' conservative-ness means that the halter will not have a chance to be worn in india. so i have some other pink thing that my mom likes but i don't. ah well.
i really think my mother's going to institute a moratorium on shopping for me. not for her, probably, though. damn.. moratorium's such a nice gg-ish word. lorelai likes using it.

the newspapers are full of the karnataka film board putting a moratorium on the release of non-kannada films here!!! which means veer-zaara won't release in bangalore!!! shah rukh and preity zinta!!! what will i doooo. gah. there are always illegal vcds, i guess. sigh. but shah rukh on a screen. i saw a salesgirl yesterday (in fact, the one who sold me the pink top that i don't like) who looked a LOT like preity zinta. i like preity zinta.

my dad's coming tonight at midnight!
now i'm going to hand over computer to my mother and read some history or something. i get to wait for my dad till midnight cos i have to open the door when he turns up.
i will try and blog again sometime soon. bye for now, darlings!

ahh nice to be connected to the internet :)
although it's a freaking slow dialup which clogs the phone line, and the h key on my grandfather's keyboard isn't functioning too well, it's better than nothing.
i was thinking i could go to the internet cafe around the corner every couple of days since my grandpa's computer is so inconvenient, but my friend told me yesterday that the one nearby's become very seedy and that i'd get raped, felt up, whistled at or all three. and he'd have had to accompany me which he's "too busy for" what with his sixteen girlfriends etc. so i have to settle for grandfather's computer. when my dad gets here i will look into convincing grandfather to get a new computer and internet connection.
and india for five weeks is currently looking not too bad, considering the amount of shopping i've done in two days. in fact, i began the shopping in the plane itself. in the airport my mom wanted to buy a dior/lv bag but the ones she wanted weren't available in duty-free (in fact they don't appear to have louis vuitton in dutyfree, which is just weird.) so i couldn't get the guess bag i wanted. strange logic, if she'd gotten her bag she'd have gotten me my bag. but because she didn't, i didn't. but it wasn't a bag i particularly wanted, it was just there and kinda cute and decently priced. a little bit paris hiltonish though. which is fitting since she's the new guess spokesmodel thing, following in the footsteps of anna nicole smith. i wonder if she'll develop a tummy like anna nicole's =P
anyhow, on the plane my mom spent her 400dollar krisshop vouchers. she bought beyond paradise and a bunch of lipsticks for herself, chance by chanel and a bobbi brown glimmer palette for me, and a timberland watch for my brother, which turned out to be too large for his skinny wrist so hopefully my dad likes it enough to wear it occasionally.
oh i had my last taste of good haagendazs chocolate in the 1st class lounge. when i was talking to vivien on the way to the lounge she gasped cos she thought that meant i was travelling first class. if only =( my parents merely have solitaire cards therefore are entitled to some good stuff, but you still have to dish out large amounts of cash for first class seats. one day, one day. i'll travel first class with my louis vuitton suite of luggage. hhahaha.
then yesterday my mom began her bangalore shopping frenzy properly. in the morning she went alone and bought 3 saris. really pretty ones, actually, then in the afternoon i went with her, got a shirt and a skirt. they're going mad with the crinkled skirts here. i also saw a beautiful crinkled silk skirt by priyadarshini rao, hopefully my mom buys me that for diwali :) then today i bought a levi's sweatshirtish thing. shopping in india gets better every year. we also looked at some gorgeously, fabulously expensive jewelry. my mom's waiting for my dad to get here to get his approval for the expenditure. she does this every year. somehow she loses track of money when she's spending in rupees. it's kind of strange.
hahaha my grandma just asked me if i wanted a banana, and i don't mind bananas but i don't like them too much so i wanted to know if it was a big banana. and it just occurred to me that shouting from upstairs, "is it a big banana?" is slightly.. bad.
ooh i watched bride and prejudice! alexis bledel's in it! as the darcy guy's sister! it was so cool when she walked in, my mom and i gasped and some random guy behind whispered to his friend that she was the "gilmore girls chick"! heh. and darcy's best friend is acted by naveen andrews, who also stars on Lost. all these connections. we could play six degrees of seperation now and connect mark ruffalo to shah rukh khan!
mark ruffalo
jennifer garner
jj abrams
naveen andrews
aishwarya rai
shah rukh khan!
cool, yes?
and naveen andrews is confirmedly quite hot. although i hesitated to think him hot on Lost as he's an iraqi ex-Republican Guard on it. but his long curly hair is very endearing. and he's goood with the accents. the movie overall is entertaining though not great. and it's comforting to know that aishwarya rai doesn't exactly have toned arms and tummy. in fact her tummy's really rather flabby. my mom says it's because she's 30, but hello? jennifer garner's 32! and she's supermuscled. but i guess she has the amazing ability and discipline to wake up at 4 every morning and work out and stuff. amazing energy. yet, my mother had to concede that being 30 is no excuse for flab. but it's heartening that a gorgeous former miss world has tummy flab too. she's becoming a rather good actress, though.

ok now i must go. they want the phone. i will try and blog again soon.
hopefully the boredom here doesn't sink in too soon.
also, i have lost what little respect i had for Freaky Bangalore Guy. i think teenagers here have lost perspective. westernisation is a terrible thing.
must go eat banana now, and then do econs. i get all my shopping in exchange for studying. would you believe, math is actually fun. plus there is the incentive of iPod Photo if i get 4As in march. hmm.
ciao!

can't believe i forgot to blog about the bushman.
disappointing, but expected.
although for a while there during the counting of the votes, there was some hope.
ah well, eatmejusteatme is positive (but then he was for bush) - "If you're a liberal, don't sweat it. At least there'll be another Michael Moore film to look forward to."

packing is absolutely exhausting, as usual. before dinner i fell asleep for a full half hour until my maid announced that it was 845 and i should eat.

my mother is fully stressed out right now. it's not pretty. she seems rather exhausted too. she's been running around town today doing last-minute stuff. she's not a good person on the day before she's flying off to anywhere. although it's generally worse before india because we always have so much to pack, and we're always going for so long so she's always stressed about the maid. but i can't really remember the last non-india holiday because it was china in june 2002, which was long ago. anyhow, thankfully for the world she isn't a globetrotting road-warrior executive type.

good news: my mother's got intentions of utilising her KrisShop points or vouchers or whatever she's got, so i shall try and score a Ralph Lauren Glamour.

ughhh i miss everyone already. i'm not going to see anybody tomorrow and for a long time after :(

tagboard reply:

heh thankfully i don't think we ever exceed the 100-or-so kg allowance my mom has, but i can easily understand exceeding the usual allowance by 50 kg, considering it's (i think) a 20 kg allowance. which is pathetic. i'd wager that one of my suitcases alone is 20 kg. i just packed and shut mine, and it's mightily heavy and even with my fat arse sitting on it, it was pretty hard to close. so i'm hoping i don't have to open it again before reaching bangalore. i stuffed some of the hand luggage in as well, so my hand luggage will be fairly light, yay. (or to see it in a different light, i can stuff more into my hand luggage now.) so as it stands, we have 2 large suitcases and 3 large bags, and that's only check-in. plus my mom's gone out now to buy another bag. but then if it's large enough the plan is to combine two of the other bags into one. something like that. so that it becomes 2 large suitcases and 2 large bags. and then my brother's got a backpack, i've got a bag and a duffel, my mom's got a handbag and a larger travel bag. we don't pack light. to quote lorelai, "packing light is for girls." heh one day i shall get a whole suite of louis vuitton luggage, how cool would that be.

yesterday i typed a long post which refused to publish, but fortunately i've developed the habit of ctrl copying before posting, due to the nature of my long posts and the screwy blog server.
so here it is.

Thought of the day (well actually thought of yesterday): I realised that the word Bangalore is worse than Bangkok. Think about it. Bang-galore vs bang-kok. Ok maybe Bangkok is worse, but Bangalore is bad too. Hahaha. Finally, something fun about the annual trip to India. Atleast it’s fun now, to say “I’m going to Bangalore”.

today i went to borders in the morning and hung around, and then soph came and met me, and we went for princess diaries 2 which was fun but slightly over-the-top. there were sweet bits, but i think the first movie i watched before reading the book, and after reading the books i realised how much they've changed in the movie, so the second movie impressed me less. i don't really understand why they have to change even the names of the people, and make her so old and of marriageable age and everything. plus i guess having it set in genovia was less fun because the san francisco setting was better, somehow. i'm not really sure why. after that went to find wiggy, and got my cds from him. and then finally kelly replied my messages to say that she was in kino, seconds after soph and i passed by kino on the escalator. so we went back to find kel, and then started shopping. i was determined to find soph a nice piece of clothing for her to buy.

zara at taka - boring, because it's all the older clothes which are sometimes pretty but always expensive. but then soph and i tried on trenchcoats and took pictures, which was fun. then we were going to go to the other zara and all the other shops, but my mother called and she was in a horrible mood because my maid and my brother were annoying her completely. my maid as i've mentioned several times, is just plain stupid, and my mom gets frustrated with her and starts yelling at her and then my brother gets pissed off with the yelling and yells at her to get her to stop yelling (which, is it just me or is that a completely nutty way to get someone to calm down?). and then my mom turns on my brother because he's completely annoying and he's got an attitude problem and does he help anybody? he just has a 24/7 xbox-computer-tv-friends habit. sounds like me, but when my mom wants me to help i help. so the moral of the story: my mom wanted me home.

so i had to leave, and help her pack because my maid is completely and utterly and absolutely and totally useless. i swear. she's capable of repeating a mistake 5 times within ten minutes. even when she's told what to do. she'll close a box in the correct sequence (you know the type that you close the big flap and then there's a little flap in the middle that goes into a slot in the big flap so it's extra secure and when you close, you close the big flap first and then put in the little flap, but when you open it's the other way round?) the other day my mom asked her to open a box like that, she tried to pull out the big flap first. of course it doesn't open because the little flap is still holding it in place. so my mom tells her to open the little flap first. and she does. then she tries to close it, wrong sequence, then my mom tells her what to do. a couple of minutes later my mom wants it opened again. she opens it the wrong way again. so my mom tells her how to open it, and just as an experiment asks her to close it. she closes it the right way. when asked to open this again, she again tried to open it the wrong way. my mom tried this four times and everytime she'd close it the right way and try to open it the wrong way. i personally watched this entire episode. i don't know how she manages to do such utterly stupid things.

and then today my mom asked me to supervise the putting away of the disposable cutlery. and i told the maid to bring a plastic bag, the sort that can tie, like cold storage bags, because some of the spoons are currently in the sort of bag that has a hole for carrying, but it can't tie. so she goes to get a bag, and brings back a bag identical to the one the bags are in, the sort that CAN'T tie. so i tell her again, bring a bag that can TIE. so she brings a sandwich bag, one of those tiny bags with the orange plastic string around the top that they serve drinks in in hawker centres. so i tell her, a cold storage type of tying bag. she goes and brings the right kind of bag, but it's tiny. so i send her again, and finally a proper bag arrives. so i can totally understand why my mom starts yelling, given that i was at breaking point with that and my mother is far more hot-tempered than i am.

but then it brings me to a thought similar to what vaish articulated on her last post. am i incapable of understanding "normal" people? i mean, i know that having been consistently in the best programs in the best schools means that i'm not normal, and i know that i'm a snob intellectually and otherwise, like i was discussing today with soph, the fact that i turn my nose up at bata heels and malaysia jeans and so on, but am i really a failed humanities student in the sense that i may be hoity-toitily studying humanities subjects but not understanding anything about humanity at large? because, really, what does a financial crisis mean to me? i've never known one have i? and what does illiteracy mean to me? i don't know anyone who's illiterate. except my maid, maybe. and i'm completely condescending towards her, and i even think she deserves the condescension for having a useless brain. and i know how completely mean that sounds but i just get so annoyed with people who can't understand things the way i do, or who aren't smart or whatever. it's kind of scary how sheltered i am. and despite it, i stubbornly believe in my own opinions. i need something to humble me.

ok i'm too exhausted to contemplate this any further. my back is killing me. this may be my last blog in a loooong while. byee.

hahahaha apparently an old ghost found my blog today, and wants me to kiss her cellulite laden arse. i have to politely decline. and i have far better things to do than create hate sites for people, so that's that: an ego. large and bulbuous with cellulite.

on to more interesting things.

today i realised that the holiday in india is going to be made even more painful by the fact that i will be cut off from almost all contact with this class for longer than i've experienced in this whole year. i will miss you all as much as i miss alias between seasons. which is really a lot. i haven't really spent much time apart from my classmates this entire year. even june, two weeks in england and the week before there were lysis rehearsals, the week after there was the computer and the day spent with nasty who isn't really in the class but close enough.

so yeah. holiday's going to be shit, unless i can convince grandfather to get cable internet or something. hmm there's a thought.

pw exhausts me, maddens me, and is finally over. my entire back hurts and my neck is sore with this shit. today's been a completely shitty day. but quite fortunate. i was woken with good news, and the pw guy is the nicest guy in the universe. like, supersupersuper nice. unlike the perpetually pmsy librarians. she was incredibly bitchy today. so anyway was in school till goddamn 7pm finishing the file. some people owe me vivien and choon BIG TIME. we figure he owes us his entire day's earnings.

royce chocolates rockkk. my mom gave in and opened the last package, which has one bitter chocolate, one au lait and one of the thing that is only written in japanese instead of english for some reason but it's the beautiful gorgeous wonderful dark chocolate that i've fallen in love with. i think it's got liquor in it too, which i could confirm if i could read jap. but it makes this burning sensation down your throat after you swallow, which is very alcoholic. and no wonder it tastes so good.

my mother's making me pack now, and this is my least favourite part of going on holiday with her. i take out piles of stuff that i want/need to take, and she tells me i have HALF a suitcase for everything. clothes AND books. and consider that i need to take matheconslithist stuff to study since i have about 35 long days ahead of me in india. HALF A FUCKING SUITCASE. half a large fucking suitcase, but still half. i can't fit anything into half a suitcase. and i just took out as many clothes as i took to england for TWO weeks when i had an entire, smaller suitcase to myself, and she says it's too many clothes. i don't get how one can take less than 15 tops to india. and i'm only taking 5 pairs of trousers and 3 skirts. although my mom will make me cut the skirts on account of that it's winter in india or something. but my legs never get cold. sighhh i hate going to india; the suitcases all get filled up with random gifts to random relatives, and my mom has her perfect excuse that her clothes have to be specially drycleaned in india, so she can take entire suitcases of clothes. i am pissed off. and plus it seems that everytime we go to india my dad's out of town so we have to take a cab to the airport and cabs have small trunks so another excuse for my mom to make me take less stuff. although once you get to the airport she has no excuse because she has like unlimited baggage allowance. or maybe it's 100 kg. something big anyway.

ugh. i hate packing. it's painful. i wish atleast blee and nasty were here and we could recreate ambleside memories, packing till 3 am. ostensibly.

hahaha well, more chocolate: went to wheelock, met sophie and had a doublechocolatechip muffin. probably my last in about two months. my god. i'm going to die of chocolate deficiency in india. i mean, ok they're not so backward that they don't have chocolate, but they don't have good chocolate. and i have no idea where in bangalore you get haagendazs, or, really, ben&jerry's. they certainly don't have coffee bean. arrgghhh.

i think i'll just go through a generally terrible cold turkey in india. computer, tv (although the grandparents do have hbo and starmovies and everything to compensate, but they all sleep early and the vcr has been out of order for as long as i can remember so it's kinda pointless). and chocolate, and handphone unless i get roaming which i doubt because we'll probably just borrow my grandfather's ancient phone when needed or something. AND my mom says she's not really going to shop much or take me shopping much because i need to study and she wants to spend more time with her parents cos they're getting old.
...


on the bright side, today i bought myself a discman. it's really really... thin. and i didn't make the mistake this time, of buying a remote-controlless discman. so it's got a remote control, a discman bag, and it came free with a padded case, and it's an mp3 discman. and my mom says she'll buy me an ipod photo if i get 4As in march common tests. incentiveincentiveincentive.

after that i went to gleneagles to collect my long-overdue contact lens. i was all this time wearing a lens loaned from them, cos everytime i order a new lens until i get the new one i just borrow one from the doctor, saying that i've got a dance or a play or something. and i just realised i've had that lens since.. last november. cos i tore my lens a few days before prom and just had time to go borrow a lens, and i forgot to order a new one until this JULY, and after i ordered it i forgot to collect it until today. wow. haha one entire year on a loaned lens. i wonder if loaning a lens from a doctor is unhygienic, but i've done it several times and it seems fine and i'm pretty sure they'd tell me if it wasn't good for me since they're a medical whatchamacallit anyway and they're not charging me for the loan anyway. oh but this time they tried to charge me, since i had it for a whole year. but then i started bitchfitting that they should've told me, and i've borrowed it so many times, and they should've called me after i ordered the new lens in july, in fact they told me they'd call, and atleast they should've told me they were going to charge me and i would have returned it earlier and i don't have any money with me now except for the money for the lens i'm picking up and so on, and then i took out the loaned lens and she looked at it and she said ok fine you don't have to buy it since you've returned it in perfect condition. yay i'm so proud of my lens-caring skills. i should stop being so irresponsible about collecting lenses though. but i'm hoping, since this year i discovered a new non-rub and very easy and efficient lens-cleaning method, the tearing of the lenses will occur less often. *crosses fingers* i should really keep a spare lens; they definitely won't lend me a lens next time if i tear this. sigh.

after that, went to orchard and met sophie. coffeebean, zara where i resisted the temptation to buy stuff. they did have a beautiful beautiful denim blazer though. i desperately want a blazer, although it does make sense that i don't currently have much use for it, and even though i'm going to bangalore where it does get somewhat cold in winter, i have a gazillion jackets and sweaters already. but a denim blazer, or a beautiful blazer of any sort, would be real nice. they had a somewhat nice leather jacket as well, resembling the one rory wears. atleast the same colour. hers is a different cut. i realised that jackets are tricky. they can make you look really fat if they're cut wrong. anyway there are beautiful blazers everywhere! but the denim one in zara that sophie spotted was really nice. she's getting good at this. ah well, i didn't even bother looking at the price especially since my mom would really disapprove after the 60 dollar purse, and blazers are hard to hide.

then i met my mom, she bought a burrito for my brother, then we went to takashimaya, she refused to go to zara cos her feet were killing her and yet she didn't want to exchange her heels for my flats. and she only entered mango cos it was a sale and mango sales are quite nice, and despite the sale today it wasn't too crowded. they have really funky dark pink pants. she didn't like them, damnn. then to the lingerie fair which was mainly ugly shiny lacy bras, but i found a couple of nice simple black ones so got those. then upstairs, and very nice 120dollar ralph lauren and tommy hilfiger tops which she of course refused to buy. they were pretty. although the pink tommy hilfiger one they only had one of left anyway, and it wasn't my size. then to robinson's because she had some stuff to exchange or something like that, and would you believe my mom refused to walk from TAKA to CENTREPOINT so we took a CAB. now you know where i get my laziness from. and i don't know why her feet were killing her anyway, since she'd spent the afternoon playing bridge, presumably while seated. if she wasn't seated, then i can understand since bridge is a long boring game. centrepoint, boringboringboring and clothes at robinson's are so OLD. my god. but my mother the fantastic, found a skirt there that actually looked quite good. she does amazing things sometimes. although frankly for the price of that skirt, i could've bought some very nice stuff at mango or zara. she also refused to go to forever21, which i suppose is just as well because the rest of the world is buying that store up, so it's basically the next mango/zara only more american which is not really very good.

actually i just tried the skirt again, and it's a really nice skirt. yay! it just needs a pair of great boots to go with it. i wannttt those calvin klein boots i saw the other day. they had fantastic leather weaving at the bottom. only they were white and white boots are a bit too 60s, although the boot shape wasn't 60sish. but i would love those same boots in brown. except another problem is that they're of the price range that involves not putting a price tag on the product. like if you go into gucci they look down their nose at you if you ask the price of a skirt. you're supposed to go in and say "6 of these, darling, in a size whatever whatever. thank you darling, just charge it to the usual account darling". so it's probably atleast a thousand bucks. the boots i mean.

ok now must go concentrate on pw again. i will be so glad when tomorrow is over. though every day brings me closer to india :( i suppose i should try and be thankful that atleast i've got a discman and nasty is supposed to be returning my cd tomorrow. one holiday to the next. almost as bad as my contact lens fiasco.

arghhh i want chocolate.

do you know, i was initially so pissed cos i thought that everyone who came on saturday just brought flowers because my house was full of huge bouquets of flowers, unlike last year when there were three beautiful boxes of expensive chocolates including a HUGE box of godiva??? and then i was craving some royce, and i walk out of my room and my mom offers me a piece of chocolate and it's royce!!! apparently someone did bring a whole load of royce. only half of it is white chocolate which i hate. and there were two large packets i think, and we opened one and finished the dark chocolate box which is the most amazing chocolate in the world (i had no idea the japanese could make chocolate but apparently they can!) and there's now a box of white left, and another packet which probably has a couple of boxes in it, but my mom won't open it cos she wants to take it for my grandparents in india cos royce is unlikely to be available there. damnnn. oh well, three days to india, three days to royce? silver lining. i don't feel like going to india so soon, although truly i suppose the boredom will force me to study, which is good for me. but still, going to try and come back earlier cos daph and kitson are coming back, and chit leaves on the 18th so it's so useless if i come back on the 17th. anyhow, i think i'm going to be doing community service all by me onesy in bangalore. i can't wait to see how traumatic the experience is going to be. or maybe i'll make some friends, who knows. but nowhere else in the world has holidays in november as far as i can tell, unless some uber-rich kids come to india from the US for thanksgiving weekend or something, in which case they'll be snobbish and won't be doing community service anyway. ah well we'll see.

i wannntttt chocolate. my mother's gone for a bridge party, i'm waiting for my maid to iron my skirt so i can go outtt. freaky bangalore guy (rmemeber him!) is excited that i'll be in bangalore on friday. he's kinda annoying again. with all the woohoos and i'm so happys. i need to go collect my contact lens today. sophie's playing pool at the other end of orchard, so i'm wondering if i really feel like going from gleneagles to near PS to watch her and choon and whoever else lan. maybe i'll just go search for the de-lovely soundtrack again.

i love soundtracks. most audiophiles look down on soundtracks. like chris dissing max's cd collection. i have to finish watching the gg and return it to vivien. and watch grease and return it to kelly. and return home at the end of the world to kelly. atleast today my debts are paid and the money owed me, returned. oh but soph owes me a dollar. must remmeber that tomorrow. i think i lost 5 bucks though. i had a 5 dollar bill and 2 dollar bill in my pocket and when i came home and emptied my pocket there was only a 2 dollar bill.

ok leaving now. byeee. i have a headache. ugh. random. want chocolate.