katie holmes is going to try stay-at-home mommyhood and "silent labor"! scientologists are nuts. why on earth was nicole kidman married to this guy for ten years?! i think he is an alien. and have i mentioned that i don't understand scientology and find it slightly appalling? i'm all for religious acceptance and all that but really. this is just WEIRD. beyond weird. i cannot comprehend it.

i believe the rumour that tom cruise has had katie holmes hypnotised and that he will snap her out of the trance and flee with his alien baby as soon as she's delivered him/her. conspiracy theories are fun.

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Katie Now "Shame"-less

Apparently, Katie Holmes is rehearsing the role of stay-at-home mom.

The actress, who recently revealed she is carrying fiance Tom Cruise's baby, has pulled out of the Dennis Quaid drama Shame On You in order to focus on her pregnancy, People magazine reports.

The film, a biopic on country and western swing legend Spade Cooley, had been scheduled to begin shooting in New Orleans within the next month. But the production was pushed back to early 2006 due to Hurricane Katrina. Holmes was set to star as Cooley's wife, Ella Mae.

A publicist for Quaid, who is writing, directing and starring in the film, declined to comment on Holmes' reported exit.

Holmes recently dismissed her longtime rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnick. Per initial reports, Holmes made the move in favor of the flackery skills proffered by Cruise's publicist and sister (publisister?) Lee Ann DeVette. But DeVette said Thursday that Holmes is currently sans spokesperson and therefore no one could confirm the People story.

In any case, DeVette and whomever Holmes decides to hire will have their work cut out for them in the denial and no comment department.

In what has become their signature whirlwind fashion, Holmes, 26, and Cruise, 43, announced they were expecting their first child together earlier this month, just four months after announcing their engagement. The couple has not yet set a wedding date.

With Cruise and Holmes upping their public profile in recent days, tabloids have been all abuzz over the former Dawson's Creek star's very visible bump, prompting speculation into exactly how long she has been in the family way. (She's not saying.)

In terms of just how Holmes got to be in the family way, her aunt has denied rumors that the actress conceived via in vitro fertilization.

"I can assure you they did it the old fashioned way," Carol Zydorczyk said in a recent magazine interview. (We're not even going to ask how she knows for sure.)

Meanwhile, back home in Ohio, Holmes' father, Martin, is reportedly extremely displeased that his daughter is pregnant without the benefit of first swapping vows, according to Life & Style magazine.

The magazine reports that the strict Catholic scolded the actress upon learning of her pregnancy, before telling Cruise, "You're no good!" The grandfather-to-be also reportedly demanded that the pair wed soon.

In other reports, when it comes time for the actress to give birth in several months, it has been suggested that Holmes will attempt a silent labor in keeping with Scientology tradition.

The practice encourages mothers to be to forgo painkillers and to refrain from screaming or even talking as they bring their children into the world. Scientologists believe that the silence reduces trauma during birth and prevents irrational fears later in life.

Holmes and Cruise have not commented on how they plan to bring their offspring into the world. However, we're thinking Cruise better start practicing his silent couch-jumping routine, just in case.