Top 10 Things To Say About A Gift You Don't Like

10. Well, well, well ...
9. I really don't deserve this.
8. Boy, if I hadn't recently shot up 4 sizes this would fit great.
7. I love it but I fear the jealousy it will create.
6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though... there are a lot of unexplained fires.
5. If the dog buries it, I don't know what I'll do!
4. No, this is perfect for wearing around the basement.
3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.
2. To think -- I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
1. No, really... mohair bikini underwear is a great idea.