i am going to blog about something weird: the history of my sex education. if you are or consider yourself pure, please read no further.

was just remembering stuff, and decided that i should put it down somewhere so that i won't forget. what better place than this diary of cyber exhibitionism?

chit insists that the beginning of her sex education was in my bedroom at namly place. and yeah, that sounds really dirty but i quoted her because she said that and i found it hilarious that it sounded like we were really perverted little children. anyway apparently i told her that people have sex by rolling around and touching their tongues together. i have no idea where i got that from, and i have no recollection of telling that to her.

i first learnt how babies were made, when i was at the temple with a couple of friends who are a few years older than me, and they went to the american school. i must have been about.. eight? they were telling me about a classmate or schoolmate or someone who'd been expelled recently because she got pregnant. and i of course was all like, was she married? how'd she get pregnant? then began my enlightenment, they told me about penises and vaginas and sex and so on. and i remember thinking that vagina was such a strange word, that it sounded like virginia, and for a long time after, i used to giggle when someone said 'virginia'. heh and i loved that part in kingergarten cop where the kid gets up and says 'boys have penises and girls have vaginas'. how adorable.

chit says that her brother didn't know about sex till he was twelve or something.. which i just realised is barely two years ago. and he's in uwc, for god's sakes. huh. apparently he wasn't too clear about the details. incredible. but he was going to get a male hamster and a female hamster and chit told him that he'd better be prepared for a lot more hamsters to appear eventually, because the hamsters would reproduce being made as they are, for that very purpose. he was astounded and said, "but they're not married!" heh.

evidently i didn't believe that sex was the only way to make babies, because i remember that sometime at the end of primary 3, after exams when the class was watching 'the secret garden', gaya told me that sex was the only way to make babies. and i didn't believe her, but i guess i learnt eventually. gaya was a major factor in my sex education - she told me about sex, periods and breasts. and i remember when i was 7 or 8 i was so afraid of this secret knowledge that i had of these dirty things, and i kept wondering what my mother would do to me if she knew that i knew about sex, and whether i should tell her that i knew what breasts were. i remember that much later on, when my brother must have been about 7, we were in the metropolitan in new york, and were looking at some ancient jewellery exhibition. and there was something about a breast chain, and my brother was like "what's a breast? is it the mountains on your chest?" and my mom and i looked at each other and cracked up.

i think that during the time that i was wondering if i should let my mother know that i knew what breasts were, i used to plan to ask her what those 'mountains' or 'lumps' were, so that she'd have to tell me and then i'd know anyway and she'd know i knew. i don't think she even told me about periods - i knew about them, and then when we had all those talks in school she knew that i knew. and i remember some book that claudia had bought or borrowed, about girl stuff, and we used to secretly pass it around class and read it clandestinely, and learn about bras and periods and stuff like that. it was a dark little secret.

neither my brother nor i had the sex talk from my parents. we both pretty much figured it out, but my brother's been far more open about asking questions, whereas i got all my answers myself. although i think he also knew the answers, because he'd ask a weird question and then start giggling. so it's like he knows exactly what it is, but is trying to be provocative or trying to confirm it or something. amusing.

i think there must've been more to my sex education.. but i don't really remember more of it. i remember educating other people. like rahul. i remember being at his house, the one which is below mine currently and which he no longer lives in. anyway he wanted me to share my knowledge about sex, and he locked his door and locked my brother and his sister out so that i could tell him. that again sounds terribly dirty, like him and me in a room, about ten years old maybe, talking about sex. but i think janani was there, and maybe poorna. oh and another time, when i was probably younger than that because i remember this as being in namly place, my cousin who's two years younger was sleeping over, and in the middle of the night i was telling her about sex. strangely enough, nowadays i no longer see that cousin except very very rarely, let alone have sleepovers and hushhush middleofthenight talks with her. our parents don't really like each other. i think the only reason we interacted then was that our mutual grandparents were alive, and thus civility between brothers was required. but i digress. oh and then i think that same cousin, or maybe her sister, told me what a blowjob was, while we were in india. i think i was in sec one. i think i already knew what oral sex was, though, only not that done on guys it was called a blowjob. and i think she thought it was 'blowdrop' so she kept saying blowdrop. i think daph was the one from whom i later learnt that it was called a blowjob.

a lot of discussions i have these days, whether with myself or not, are mainly digression.