i want to make a super angsty post, but i can't bring myself to.
it's so horrible when all the disappointments come crashing down when you're all alone at night.
the problem is that it just makes me sort of lose faith, especially when i've been so happy of late.
NO this is not specifically about council, because that totally does not deserve funereal faces.
it's just an accumulation of things, and last straws, and a general feeling that people are never really listening.
flippancy? i guess.
pisses everyone off, doesn't it.

and there goes my resolve not to angst-fy.

watching qaf did me no good - brian is too fucking sweet. just puts reality in context.

and i haven't done any work in days. help. i should just cancel shopping tomorrow.

god. khushnam is talking to me. i should just tell her to fuck the hell off. the despo horny guy image i now think of whenever i talk to her doesn't help either. i don't have the guts to tell her to fuck off.

i just did tell her to fuck off. and then apologised that i meant to tell that to someone else. what a fucking coward i am.
or compassionate, maybe. whatever. she seems to love me a lot. why do i attract such absolute freaks.

and sigh. being mean doesn't make me feel any better. i feel like a shit venting on her, because she's just this poor pathetic thing. oh but god it's fun. she's so damn thickskinned.

i just realised that posting her conversations on msn leaves out one important aspect of her - her prolific and random usage of smiley faces. emoticons in general actually. she likes long lines of emoticons, or smiling/winking ones when she's being sad, emoticons accompanying every word, and generally she likes to be incredibly annoying. the ridiculousness of her emoticon habits would have added much to my reporting of the conversations, but well. tough.

Skinny Beanie says:
hi
what has happend to www.mp3sound.com i made that wesite
From So Much Difficult
hi aparna
hello sleepy head talk
hey aparna
what happend to u

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
fuck off.

Skinny Beanie says:
what did i say that you are saying fuck off to me are u angre with me

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
sorry. i meant it for someone else
and i'm busy now
talk to you some other time

Skinny Beanie says:
ok bye
u know that i am all ready sad because my boyfreind rakesh boke up with me the one ho i loved

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
ok.
great

Skinny Beanie says:
why
why is that great
I'll talk with u later ur gonna make me cry

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
don't know
why'm i gonna make you cry?
and you're still making smiley faces
and you seem to have a new boyfriend every week anyway, what's the big deal.

Skinny Beanie says:
no this one i loved very much

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
well. get over it. you'll have a new boyfriend next week.

Skinny Beanie says:
no i won't i only love rakesh

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
don't worry
how about piyush
and pravin
and all those guys/
have another party, kiss another guy, he'll be your boyfriend.
or since you're going to see beyonce in las vegas, get an american boyfriend.

Skinny Beanie says:
i hatew them there only friends

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
you said they're your boyfriends.
were you lying?

Skinny Beanie says:
dont talk aboutr it now my dad know u've me into truble

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
i got YOU into trouble?
i wasn't even talking about it. you were.

Skinny Beanie says:
thats ook im fine
i know im sorry so sorry

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
ok geez. enough already with the smileys.

Skinny Beanie says:
ok
fine u don't put smiles why?
hello are u there

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
i don't like the smileys
they're so stupid.
and i told you that i'm busy
when people are busy genereally they mean for you to stop talking
i'll talk to you some other time.
leave me alone now.

Skinny Beanie says:
ok well we will chat tommorrow

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
i'm in a completely horrible mood.
you don't want to be on the wrong end of it.
and don't wait up all day waiting for me to chat with you.
because i wouldn't.

Skinny Beanie says:
ok bye
well will see about it tommorrow
that means were not friends

angry Mustang kicking a little Honda ass. says:
geez. friends really don't wait around all day to talk to each other you know.
whatever.
see you.
bye.

Skinny Beanie says:
bye talk with u later


coldplay's damn depressing.
and i HATE having a conscience.
i just feel guilty about everything.