there's a cockroach in my room! i was in the toilet, and suddenly it came in from the study, and i tried to divert it towards the window but it just went around in a circle and then headed into MY room. and it was so fast that by the time i opened the door it was GONE. and the bathroom door is next to my desk, which is where i'm sitting right NOW. and the desk is right next to my bed! which is where i'm going to sleep. if i ever finish my work tonight. and it's got HUGE feelers. and it's round and brown and disgusting. how can cockroaches live with themselves? no i will NOT feel any compassion.

and i don't know where the damn insecticide is. and if i spray it in my room and sleep in my room, with the aircon on and the windows and doors closed, i might die! and everybody else is asleep!

i think, considering that there is a cockroach in my room, it may be more prudent to just stay awake all night and guard myself. wrap the quilt around me, just in case it decides to attack while i'm most vulnerable, if i fall asleep despite all attempts. but i can't wrap all the way to my head, or i'll suffocate. it looks like there's no way out of this.

i shall finish this stupid thing and then go sleep in my brother's top bunk. i cannot sleep in the same room as a cockroach. the very thought terrifies me out of my wits. absofuckinglutely petrifying.

i am currently sitting with my legs up on the chair. i have a mortal fear of creepy things crawling up my legs. and the aircon is on so i keep getting goosebumps and that weird tingly feeling, and every tingly feeling feels like the cockroach is about to invade me. and the worst thing is, if it does crawl over me, and refuses to fall off when i flail my limbs, i won't dare to touch it and flick it off. i might just succumb and let it eat me up.

god. WHY didn't my parents bring me up in a jungle or something. or teach me how to live with cockroaches and lizards and ugly insects. or how to kill them.

ohmygod. cockroaches can FLY.
my life is going to pieces.