s-cube relatively fun, but -such- a waste of time. it took wayyyyy too long. i really should've ponned school today. but the amount of ponning i'm doing is getting disgusting, although not as bad as claudia. hahaha.

but newfound respect for the institution that is ns. what the ac guy said made a lot of sense - if there's something in your life at home that makes you so unhappy to spend two years away from it at ns, then that's something that should be worth defending right? he was nice and sincere, and then when the gavin guy - the poseur mc with the really grating voice - starting speaking it was so annoying. the drama was quite pathetic, although funny at some bits. but it got really propaganda skit at the end, which is irritating. once again, us prs get to have all the propaganda and the brainwashing and timewasting, but none of the singaporean perks. wonderful, innit.
panopticism, haha. nice word, although not entirely relevant.
but i'm growing to be able to admit my affection for singapore, despite everything. where else do you get such a weird screwed-up but pretending-to-be-perfect country that manages to be so successful in some aspects and so terrible in others? it's like the rj campus - the pits but we still love it for some odd reason. it's.. quirky, and that odd sense of a pseudo-utopia, that high-functioning dystopia like ian said (although i have no idea what it means) is quite special. ok maybe i'm just weird but i think a lot of people who've previously had the whole anti-singapore thing are growing to realise that there's no escaping the place you've grown up in, for better or for worse. for better, in fact, because people are realising their affection for singapore. i wouldn't go so far as to call it patriotism, but sometimes i marvel at the little things about singapore that we take for granted, the little weirdnesses that make singapore singapore. i guess it's a good thing.

anyway i've been in a terrible mood all evening, doesn't help that my brother's sparked off a parental argument because he's annoyingly ill-disciplined. he doesn't eat properly, doesn't charge his handphone and then doesn't call when he's staying in school much later than he usually does and -knows- that my mum's the anxious sort, and is generally very badly behaved. and then my mum yells at him and my dad gets pissed off at the yelling and then there's a very different sort of quarrel. and all three of them have terrible tempers. and here i am, this island, this oasis of calm. geez. and i have a math test tomorrow, as well as a headache and a knee that continues to leak and extreme exhaustion to top it all off. the safti thing was a huge waste of time and a sap on aparna's energy resources, despite the fact that it shed light on some important things.

besides that, being high in the rain is good. tiring after a while, but accents and lisps with choon on treks around 'mountainous' regions are the stuff good things are made of. good memories, good stuff. goodgood. and being high during gp as well, i think it was. generally freaking ms ho out, and thoroughly embarrassing her i'm sure. and taking too many weird pictures. class outings are good, no matter how tiring at points. i think the problem was my heavy bag, because i thought it would be a shitty seminar during which i could do math, but obviously not. should've left everything at school. and i should get more sleep. definitely helps with the sleepyhead during lit and econs, and at various points during safti thing - fell asleep during the tail end of the seminar bit, and again sitting in the void deckish thing where the cadets live, and i almost fell fast enough asleep that my legs started going wonky. (haha, i haven't a donkey.) quoting lysistrata at odd intervals is also fun.

and.
ns food sucks.
poor boys.
i will really miss our boys when they go off to ns.
for that matter, i'll miss everyone when jc's over.
sigh.
i think i'll skip school tomorrow.