ARGHHH.

finished essay 1, thought it was good and was pleased that it was 888 words cos that's nice and 8's my favourite number and i think it's a chinese lucky number and stuff so it seems like i should stop there and be satisfied and move on to the TWO more essays that i have to do for that ONE university.

and THEN i get told that it's great and reads very well but it's a bit typical. and then the assurances, that hey at 18 nobody has particularly unique experiences, everyone's just writing about being the drama queen/prom queen/rugby captain/student council president and how it taught them sooooo much about commitment passion integrity professionalism interpersonal skills etc. (V if you're reading this i'm not angry with you for telling me all that; i'm basically angry with myself so please don't feel bad.)

the worst part is, i KNOW that there -are- more original things i could write about. there are things that i've spent my life puzzling over, things that mean a lot to me even if i don't understand them completely. and i just spent half an hour typing random things about the more original thoughts i have had and that i know i should've written about. so ugh. i might just be completely overhauling that stupid essay. and simultaneously doing the two other essays.

when the fuck am i going to get started studying for my fricking A LEVELS!!?!?!?!