so i've been mia for a while. but i'm re-evaluating my life. i think my history's screwed up as well. rolly spoke to me about it on friday, and neither of us was happy about my history. i think international might/will/hopefully will be better. i don't want to flunk a third subject. it would be nothing short of agony.

so. yours truly has truly fucked up her first year of jc.
therefore the re-evaluation of priorities.

i'm going to move on a little. figure things out. math, for instance. and econs. and the french revolution.

i guess it took a knock that was hard enough to make me lose faith in myself. i've been sailing for far too long on that little bit of intelligence that got me through without the effort that deserves good grades. it appalls me now, that if i slip up a little, i slide so far down. ok fine to give my brain a bit of credit, i slipped up a lot more than a little. i just took a royal slide heading straight and very fast for the shit.

i've got to make good on that promise that aparna gets what she wants. this time she wants the grades. she really wants the grades.

i need to prove something to myself this time around.