ugh i am depressed.

1. shutterfly and my computer are being evil again. i can't open slideshows although all my popup blockers have been disabled. i can't figure out what the fucking problem is.

2. about my abilities etc. and prospects. and stuff like that. incompetence. da-da-da.

3. the advent of common tests. 'nuff said.

4. weirdness in people. i can't quite explain it. i think i feel... insignificant. or something.

i hope it's just ennui. i hope it blows over. i hate being depressed. (well, duh.) i need to find a more refined way of saying duh. duh is so fifth grade.

gp tomorrow gahhhhhh. i had Big Plans to read stuff and all. the best-laid plans.
well atleast i've done rolly's document paper. most of it, anyway.

and i'm drowning rufus wainwright. who isn't really very good for depressed people. maybe i should switch to john mayer or bnl, more classic comfort music. but rufus has a gorgeously appropriate voice for my mood.

oh sheesh i need a pick-me-up. steve and ed will have to do.

maybe i just need sleep.

ahhhh bnl and i already feel better.


Ok so this is Rufus, Danny Boy:
"I was had at the doorstep
Played, like a two to a four-set
Had, like poor job in the bible by god

Day comes, i wake
I wake with a hard heartache
I go down to your place
We sit and chat about new york
And trips to the bayou
My smile, a trick
Tricking me and trying not to scare you
And a ship with eight sails could come round the bend
Or a heard of bulls charging stoplights red
I'd be blind"

and this is Barenaked Ladies, Light Up My Room:
"There are luxuries we can't afford
But in our house we never get bored
We can dance to the radio station
That plays in our teeth

If you question what I would do
To get over and be with you
Lift you up over everything
To light up my room

A Hydro-field cuts through my neighborhood
Somehow that always just made me feel good
I can put a spare bulb in my hand
And light up my yard"

see? one should not match one's music to one's mood unless one's mood is good.

Oh Rufus my love you're so very bad for me. BNL treats me good. I shall go to sleep with the Steve-lullabies yayyy.