did anybody read the thing in the paper about press freedom in singapore? "a subjective measure computed through the prism of western liberals". and then the pointed comments about sudan's corruption and economic freedom rankings. SO defensive, this gah-men. it made me laugh.

and. i think what bugs me about school ending is that i've realised that the last-minute studying that i tend to do essentially means that my pursuit of knowledge is basically a means to an end rather than an end in itself. i study for the exams to get my grades, and my grades are going to (hopefully) take me to a good university. but then after the exams i'm going to forget the bare minimum that i studied. and did i really enjoy studying it? and in university just studying for exams isn't going to be enough. i have to love what i'm doing, and i have to assimilate it and remember it, because i'm going to need atleast some of that for my future career. i guess what scares me is that i'll spend university as well, accumulating piles of readings and books and notes but only reading what's absolutely necessary to get decent grades. and then i'll graduate from yet another school feeling reasonably smart, but still wondering how much did i really LEARN?

ok i guess i'm being a little harsh on myself, because i don't actually think i've learned nothing. but i just see the piles of history readings, econs readings, everything i tell myself to read and haven't read. and my "pursuit of knowledge" feels like such a farce.

gah. what happened to finishing one chapter of history today??!!?!